Hopeless

Days like today are days where I really sit back and think how I could've avoided the situation I'm in. I run on emotions, and most times- thinking about how I feel, instead of logically puts me into more trouble than good.

If I could've just said it this way...

Or if he could've just voiced it like this...

Or if we could've acted more like adults instead of being selfish...

It haunts me everyday, and more so hurts that because of our actions, we have now put the law in our marriage, thus making our whole situation more complicated than needed. I can't believe it got this bad, and I can't believe things got out of hand. I feel like my life is falling apart right before my eyes.

I'm seriously not blogging to make it sound like i want the world to feel bad for me, but just wanting to be able to vent. To be able to write how I feel...how my heart feels. Every marriage goes through the dumps, and I know one day things will be where they need to be, but honestly, I just want to be with my husband, and I want to be able to move forward- and yes I know that this is what we have to put up with because of our actions, and selfish choices....and we both fully own up to it....but it just, sucks. And I just feel so hopeless...drained...and I feel like giving in. I know this feeling is temporary, and I'll be back to my happy self again- but until then if someone has a genie that could grant me 3 wishes let him know I'm looking for him.