Remembering that I am human, and have made mistakes, and bad choices, I think the biggest of all was taking for granted the blessings of the temple. I'm still in the learning curve of life...I thank God for being patience with me. Stay tune for more of my life learning.
Ofa atu
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Back at One.
When a child finally gets the ice cream that he has been dying for, dreaming of, craving and drooling over, FINALLY grabbing a hold of it, lashing his tongue out in excitement to taste the amazing flavor, only to have a bully come and snatch it from him. That whole moment of excitement, victory, and confidence just buried in hopelessness, and deprived from all happiness. (and yes, if you haven't notice this is a metaphor of how I am feeling at this very moment in time.Why must i always involve food in my blogs? I'm pregnant, food is the only thing keeping me from total depression, HAHAHAHA.)
What can I say, every time I blog, it's always about how we are slowly but surely making progress in life. Sometimes I feel like we have seriously gotten the worst of it, but most times I see them as another stepping stone. I guess the hardest part is when you have it all planned out, and then life hits, BOOOOOM! Back to step one. BUT....yes, BUT BUT BUT, I've come to realize that that is the beauty of life. Now although time and effort has been put into something that may not have worked out as planned, you can always suck it up, cry for an hour, and then wake up tomorrow moving forward. THE PAST, the teachings we learned and move on from. The times and things we went thru only to motivate and better ourselves, and our future.
I guess you can say as for my hot husband and I, we keep each other optimistic about things. Because although it seems like we have been thru it all, it's just the beginning. Time is of the essences, and so we must slowly take in what is thrown at us, evaluate, and continue to make progress. Let me also tell you that is the best part of marriage itself. You'll never go through life alone, and always have the best support, from the only person you really need it from. Who better than the man(or woman) that holds your heart, and knows it!
So, yes! I am beyond thankful to know that all that I am going thru, been thru, and will still go thru no matter what, are temporary things. It's funny how we can face reality, but deception is what we really are afraid of. What we don't realize is how reality can be more of the blessing, deception is what we go thru to get it.
Update on my unborn son:
He is kicking, and making mommy let one rip in all sorts of public places.( and it's seriously embarrassing. I hope none of you end up or had the experience of a gassy unborn LOL!) 32 weeks, and I feel like he is beyond healthy. He is, like I have mention countless times, a soldier! Making mommy proud. I am too excited, and so is my husband. Only a couple more weeks to knock down, and our son will finally enter the best part of the plan of salvation.
xoxo from the Peni's :)
What can I say, every time I blog, it's always about how we are slowly but surely making progress in life. Sometimes I feel like we have seriously gotten the worst of it, but most times I see them as another stepping stone. I guess the hardest part is when you have it all planned out, and then life hits, BOOOOOM! Back to step one. BUT....yes, BUT BUT BUT, I've come to realize that that is the beauty of life. Now although time and effort has been put into something that may not have worked out as planned, you can always suck it up, cry for an hour, and then wake up tomorrow moving forward. THE PAST, the teachings we learned and move on from. The times and things we went thru only to motivate and better ourselves, and our future.
I guess you can say as for my hot husband and I, we keep each other optimistic about things. Because although it seems like we have been thru it all, it's just the beginning. Time is of the essences, and so we must slowly take in what is thrown at us, evaluate, and continue to make progress. Let me also tell you that is the best part of marriage itself. You'll never go through life alone, and always have the best support, from the only person you really need it from. Who better than the man(or woman) that holds your heart, and knows it!
So, yes! I am beyond thankful to know that all that I am going thru, been thru, and will still go thru no matter what, are temporary things. It's funny how we can face reality, but deception is what we really are afraid of. What we don't realize is how reality can be more of the blessing, deception is what we go thru to get it.
Update on my unborn son:
He is kicking, and making mommy let one rip in all sorts of public places.( and it's seriously embarrassing. I hope none of you end up or had the experience of a gassy unborn LOL!) 32 weeks, and I feel like he is beyond healthy. He is, like I have mention countless times, a soldier! Making mommy proud. I am too excited, and so is my husband. Only a couple more weeks to knock down, and our son will finally enter the best part of the plan of salvation.
xoxo from the Peni's :)
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Count your Blessings.
Bed rest has been depressing, yet, full of relaxation. Depressing because I just realized I have ADHD, so when i'm asked to sit still, it's seriously like asking a little fat kid to just stare at the chocolate cake, and not eat it. IMPOSSIBLE! But yet, very relaxing because Travis now has be the wife/husband thru the rest of the pregnancy....But that's nothing new to him, seeing as he's always been doing everything since we have been married........weh! LOL. Aside from it all, it has been a huge roller coaster for the two of us.
It has hit me, and hit me hard that i'm not expecting my first pregnancy the way every women out there has. When it comes to having your baby natural, healthy, and all of that. I expected it just to be like that. But when the unexpected hits, especially when it comes to your unborn's life being on the line, everything you do must be with caution.
I wasn't always feeling so doubtful, but when you have two of your best friends also being pregnant, and being just as excited because they both know for sure that everything will be fine, and your the third person only hoping, only wishing and praying that God keeps you and your unborn in good hands so you can feel that same emotion is the hardest thing to look past. I'm beyond thankful that the lord has blessed my best friends with the chance of keeping themselves healthy and stable to be ready for there child, but when it came to thinking of myself, I felt hopeless.
I guess the feeling of hopelessness came from the fact that i was always looking forward to the worst, because the best wasn't happening. I tried to face reality that my unborn child has a big chance of not making it. Keeping me down and out, I slowly started being negative about my whole pregnancy. Negative to the point where all I expected was for the doctor to let me know that my unborn wouldn't make it.
Drenching myself in self pity, it didn't occur to me of how selfish I was until my husband lifted my shirt up while I was sleeping, and started talking to my stomach. He always does that, but this time is was different. "Don't worry son, as soon as you come out, we're ditching your mom and going out for ice berg everyday." He always joked around, but I just sat in tears. He put so much faith in our child. Yet the one thing that I needed to do was just have faith, and I lacked it so much.
It's amazing how God simply teaches us, and reminds us the basic necessities we need to live Christ like, and yet it's the simplest teachings we forget. To just understand faith, knowing that although you can not see it, it's there means so much more than before. To know that regardless of all the trials, he's there, and he's doing what he needs to do to, I just need to do my part, and have faith.
I never wanted a reason to be angry with God, and I'm beyond thankful that I never had a reason to be. I know that Ill accept whatever comes my way because through the simple teachings I've been taught. Trials are temporary, and are meant to go through to better ones life.
As for the baby, he is 30 weeks, and is kicking. Good to know he's still active and alive. I can't wait for this C-section, and beyond ready for it :):)
It has hit me, and hit me hard that i'm not expecting my first pregnancy the way every women out there has. When it comes to having your baby natural, healthy, and all of that. I expected it just to be like that. But when the unexpected hits, especially when it comes to your unborn's life being on the line, everything you do must be with caution.
I wasn't always feeling so doubtful, but when you have two of your best friends also being pregnant, and being just as excited because they both know for sure that everything will be fine, and your the third person only hoping, only wishing and praying that God keeps you and your unborn in good hands so you can feel that same emotion is the hardest thing to look past. I'm beyond thankful that the lord has blessed my best friends with the chance of keeping themselves healthy and stable to be ready for there child, but when it came to thinking of myself, I felt hopeless.
I guess the feeling of hopelessness came from the fact that i was always looking forward to the worst, because the best wasn't happening. I tried to face reality that my unborn child has a big chance of not making it. Keeping me down and out, I slowly started being negative about my whole pregnancy. Negative to the point where all I expected was for the doctor to let me know that my unborn wouldn't make it.
Drenching myself in self pity, it didn't occur to me of how selfish I was until my husband lifted my shirt up while I was sleeping, and started talking to my stomach. He always does that, but this time is was different. "Don't worry son, as soon as you come out, we're ditching your mom and going out for ice berg everyday." He always joked around, but I just sat in tears. He put so much faith in our child. Yet the one thing that I needed to do was just have faith, and I lacked it so much.
It's amazing how God simply teaches us, and reminds us the basic necessities we need to live Christ like, and yet it's the simplest teachings we forget. To just understand faith, knowing that although you can not see it, it's there means so much more than before. To know that regardless of all the trials, he's there, and he's doing what he needs to do to, I just need to do my part, and have faith.
I never wanted a reason to be angry with God, and I'm beyond thankful that I never had a reason to be. I know that Ill accept whatever comes my way because through the simple teachings I've been taught. Trials are temporary, and are meant to go through to better ones life.
As for the baby, he is 30 weeks, and is kicking. Good to know he's still active and alive. I can't wait for this C-section, and beyond ready for it :):)
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