I am Line, and I have an anger management problem. It's nothing dramatic, to where I really need to seek help for...or so I hope, haha- but i'm such a hot head, it really doesn't take a person a lot to do to un-tame this lion.
BUT, that's not the point of this blog. Today I woke up, well....furious! *insert Australian accent* I was roaring like a lion, fighting like a tiger, stinging like a bee! haha- No. it's nothing new to make everything a big deal when your a wife. I mean if your husband is leaving the toilet seat up, all hell breaks lose. Or if your husband compliments a lady right after you just complimented her, you automatically assume he likes her! or that's probably just me! LOL! I guess, what I'm trying to say is that to be happy in a marriage, you have to be willing to be a great forgiver. You want to know what's even more weird...I learned that from men! Ew! Hahaha!
Anyway- my very sweet husband never fails to make me smile. Awesome guy, and will totally go beyond the limits to make me happy....even if that means not telling me that he spent the money we were suppose to use for our little Moana boy to get circumcised today. He just went on his merry way avoiding the fact that I told him since Friday to put some money aside for it. "Okay, I did! Don't worry about it!" Is what I always got from him. So what did I do? I was worried free! Long story short, he didn't, I got frustrated, wanted to go king-fu panda on him. You know, all those married symptoms you get when you know the situation could've been avoided if he just had TOLD you! Hahaha! I guess I was more angered at the fact that he didn't tell me because he knew I would react the way I am reacting! So he tries to soften my stubborn heart by saying...."you shouldn't be mad I didn't tell you, because I spent it on you!" Hahahahahahahahahahaha! I mean I'm laughing now, but when he said that I was like, this man WOULD try to make it seem like it's because of me that we couldn't do baby's stuff! Oh my that definitely made my whole entire year!
As pissed off as I was at the time, I took a breather and went on to Facebook (the greatest stress reliever, right?) I was going to message my friend about doing our family pictures, but then I came across a message that I got from someone who use to be a big deal to me at one time. It was a message asking for forgiveness. This person, at the time, was the last person I have expected any good from. I actually wanted him to jump off a bridge while I watch! LOL! Okay, never that- but that's how cold hearted i was towards him. Well, reading through the message, I thought about how hard it must have been to apologize, and ask for forgiveness. I mean why would he? After all that was said and done at the time? NOW you want to apologize? Pssshhht........okay, I did! I forgave him through all the PullSpit- and although we don't communicate at all (thank The Lord almighty! Lol) I am thankful I came across the message.
This whole thing with my husband and I could've been avoided. I didn't share this with you to make it seem like we have problems. I mean we do, who doesn't? I took this as a teaching skill. This, first of all, is nothing to be absolutely mad about all day. Money comes and goes. Second, although the situation could've been totally avoided, it wasn't- he knew what he could've done and immediately apologized. Why was I still trying to set fire to something that was already being put out....idk, I guess, because it was my man- I had to make him feel worse than the S word! Victory was finally mine! Hahahahaha! And third, as long as someone is apologizing for their actions, and being sincere about it, why still try to avoid forgiving? I guess it's just my good heart that allows me to forgive because the person who apologize is giving me the option too...Like that person who I thought had no kind of good in him, actually does. Sometimes I feel like people don't deserve my apology or forgiveness, but that to me shows how selfish I can be if I don't apologize, or forgive. I am willing to be the bigger person and look past things that others are also willing to look past.
It's not the easiest thing to say sorry, and to forgive. Mostly because we're scared of how the other person might react, or if they'll even accept it...or even if it's the right thing to do. I guess it's something we have to practice to make permanent. And by that I mean, humbling ourselves to achieve the greater blessing...to look outside of the box. And I'd have to say that being married has taught me the blessings of forgiveness, and how two great people become two great forgivers!
That was my manic Monday morning for y'all! Have a blessed Halloween week!xo!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
"Forgetful Lucy."
Today I thought was going to be just like any other day where I would wake up, do my motherly duties, and then fall asleep by ten tonight. These past few weeks have been very hectic, and honestly, I haven't realized how much my husband and I have been too busy focusing on our son, we kind of...well, lets just say haven't really focused on each other. And just like everything that has happened these past few months, we expected it to become hectic when baby came.
Anyway, this morning I had a dentist appointment, and went with my sister. Usually i go with Travis, but he stayed to watch our son. We rushed to our appointment, just like how we rush everything else. Got in, sat in the chair, and got to watch 50 first dates. Yes, my dentist is that amazing to where you are able to lay back and watch movies while he's working on your teeth. I don't know if it's still the hormones kicking in, or just my heart, but 50 first dates reminded me of our apartment my husband and I recently moved out of. We watched that movie and nacho Libre all the time, and it wasn't so much about the meaning of the movie, but just the simple things like cuddling with him, or giving him random kisses during the movie....you get my drift, haha- I laid back in the chair in tears(but totally told the dentist i was crying because my tooth hurts..wise move right?lol) In my head I was seriously playing a montage of how my husband never failed to remind me how much he loves me. I mean, for crying out loud he walked all the way from west valley to Glendale just to be with me when I was mad. He comes and watches baby all night after work while I sleep....he cooks when I'm hungry, and never fails to tell me how much he loves me. If you know me, you know that I am beyond stubborn. I'll test the waters. And if you know my husband, he's humble and never puts himself before others.
In 50 first dates, which I know most of you have seen, Adam
Sandler calls her in a song "forgetful Lucy." She may forget what happened the day before, but he never gives up on making her fall in love with him everyday! I AM FORGETFUL LUCY!! I seriously need to be reminded of why I love my husband soooo much, and he has never stopped showing me his unconditional love. I can be rude, violent, aggressive, and most times.....A BRAT! Lol, and although he may not be good with words, he proves his feelings to me by his actions. Goes to show how actions do speak louder than words.
I know I always blog about love this, love that, all this love talk that is probably making you want to puke. BUT I got to give it up to the man who always keeps me loving him harder and harder day by day. Having kids can really change your whole relationship. Changes more than you think. I'm just thankful Travis is passionate enough to still be able to remind me how much he adores the heck out me. I know we haven't been together for a very long time, but the effort he puts in is beyond amazing- I know it's real. He proves it daily.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we get caught up in other things, we don't realize the little things that are really the simple pleasures of life. Of why things work out in the long run. At times we can be the "forgetful Lucy." But just as long as we're being shown effort through action, it is all that matters.
He continues to be my teacher. I love him for that. Thank you babe! Xo.
Anyway, this morning I had a dentist appointment, and went with my sister. Usually i go with Travis, but he stayed to watch our son. We rushed to our appointment, just like how we rush everything else. Got in, sat in the chair, and got to watch 50 first dates. Yes, my dentist is that amazing to where you are able to lay back and watch movies while he's working on your teeth. I don't know if it's still the hormones kicking in, or just my heart, but 50 first dates reminded me of our apartment my husband and I recently moved out of. We watched that movie and nacho Libre all the time, and it wasn't so much about the meaning of the movie, but just the simple things like cuddling with him, or giving him random kisses during the movie....you get my drift, haha- I laid back in the chair in tears(but totally told the dentist i was crying because my tooth hurts..wise move right?lol) In my head I was seriously playing a montage of how my husband never failed to remind me how much he loves me. I mean, for crying out loud he walked all the way from west valley to Glendale just to be with me when I was mad. He comes and watches baby all night after work while I sleep....he cooks when I'm hungry, and never fails to tell me how much he loves me. If you know me, you know that I am beyond stubborn. I'll test the waters. And if you know my husband, he's humble and never puts himself before others.
In 50 first dates, which I know most of you have seen, Adam
Sandler calls her in a song "forgetful Lucy." She may forget what happened the day before, but he never gives up on making her fall in love with him everyday! I AM FORGETFUL LUCY!! I seriously need to be reminded of why I love my husband soooo much, and he has never stopped showing me his unconditional love. I can be rude, violent, aggressive, and most times.....A BRAT! Lol, and although he may not be good with words, he proves his feelings to me by his actions. Goes to show how actions do speak louder than words.
I know I always blog about love this, love that, all this love talk that is probably making you want to puke. BUT I got to give it up to the man who always keeps me loving him harder and harder day by day. Having kids can really change your whole relationship. Changes more than you think. I'm just thankful Travis is passionate enough to still be able to remind me how much he adores the heck out me. I know we haven't been together for a very long time, but the effort he puts in is beyond amazing- I know it's real. He proves it daily.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we get caught up in other things, we don't realize the little things that are really the simple pleasures of life. Of why things work out in the long run. At times we can be the "forgetful Lucy." But just as long as we're being shown effort through action, it is all that matters.
He continues to be my teacher. I love him for that. Thank you babe! Xo.
Monday, October 22, 2012
The Journey To Eternity.
My liddo Fa'amona bwoii is a heading into his fourth week this week. Wow, where has the time gone?! He still manages to have his ten toes and fingers, and SLOOOOOOWLY but surely growing hair on his head. I notice something new about him everyday, from his personality, to his physical appearance. He is all I ever want to talk about. I mean, i'm at my in-laws talking about how he throws up! Why would that even be a topic to consider talking about to your in-laws? I guess i'm just proud at the fact that I have a child. He is my EVERYTHING, and i'm the type of mother who is proud of her children, even if they're half bald.
Being married, and having a child at this age is probably the craziest thing someone my age could possibly do. From being unstable, to having moments where you're not able to do things you would've done if you were still single. They're definitely has been temptations, and it has become harder since the birth of our little one. But by the end of the day, my husband and I remember the blessings that will come in the after life. We constantly remind ourselves why where here, and regardless of the downfalls, how to stay focused on the right path. Since my marriage, I have learned so much about the doctrine, and notice how I have misinterpreted it in various ways. At this point, I thank the counseling of my father. To keep me focused on why marriage in the temple is a BIG DEAL. It's coming to the last days where women would rather not bare children, then to have them and not be sealed to them forever. It scares me as a mother. Now you have to understand why. we are brought here to return to our father in heaven. our knowledge is tested. our goal is to make it back to the celestial kingdom, and become like gods with our families.That could only happen thru sealing of the temple. once you're sealed, nothing could break that bond of forever.
I look to my son and become more desirous of the temple. I may have not done it the right way, but it doesn't stop me from trying to become right with god. I want and NEED to become right with God only because when I look at my little growing family, I see ever-lasting love. The adversity may face me with challenges, and trials daily, but because I know, and I was taught that a family can last forever, it is not something I look to as ever breaking my family apart.
I am thankful for the challenge of already starting a family at a young age, I have seen my husband and I blossom, and become more mature. What takes some a long time to understand, we have already understood. We have become more focused and in tune to what life is teaching us, and becoming more thoughtful and cautious to the hardships that we have, and will face. It is our turn to take part in what our parents and ancestors have sacrificed, and that is to become like gods in the Kingdom of glory.
Being married, and having a child at this age is probably the craziest thing someone my age could possibly do. From being unstable, to having moments where you're not able to do things you would've done if you were still single. They're definitely has been temptations, and it has become harder since the birth of our little one. But by the end of the day, my husband and I remember the blessings that will come in the after life. We constantly remind ourselves why where here, and regardless of the downfalls, how to stay focused on the right path. Since my marriage, I have learned so much about the doctrine, and notice how I have misinterpreted it in various ways. At this point, I thank the counseling of my father. To keep me focused on why marriage in the temple is a BIG DEAL. It's coming to the last days where women would rather not bare children, then to have them and not be sealed to them forever. It scares me as a mother. Now you have to understand why. we are brought here to return to our father in heaven. our knowledge is tested. our goal is to make it back to the celestial kingdom, and become like gods with our families.That could only happen thru sealing of the temple. once you're sealed, nothing could break that bond of forever.
I look to my son and become more desirous of the temple. I may have not done it the right way, but it doesn't stop me from trying to become right with god. I want and NEED to become right with God only because when I look at my little growing family, I see ever-lasting love. The adversity may face me with challenges, and trials daily, but because I know, and I was taught that a family can last forever, it is not something I look to as ever breaking my family apart.
I am thankful for the challenge of already starting a family at a young age, I have seen my husband and I blossom, and become more mature. What takes some a long time to understand, we have already understood. We have become more focused and in tune to what life is teaching us, and becoming more thoughtful and cautious to the hardships that we have, and will face. It is our turn to take part in what our parents and ancestors have sacrificed, and that is to become like gods in the Kingdom of glory.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Worth the Waiting For
Fa'amoana Sipai Peni is finally here. 5 pounds 14 Oz, 18.5 inches, and more healthier than ever. I don't know what more to say. He was worth all the pain, the wait, and the time.
It's all pretty funny how he came to be. He is actually 2 weeks premature, which isn't too bad at all, comparing to the fact that he was suppose to come out earlier and stay in the NICU. I actually had my baby shower the night before I went into labor. so everything happen just on time. What makes this even more of a blessing is how my best friend and I had our sons on the same day. My husband has convinced himself that the full moon sparked the fuse of us having our kids the very next day. I just blame our intense walk home from the baby shower. My best friends and I tend to be little rebels, so when we're told not to do something, we're already half way done doing it. We walked home, and totally jinxed ourselves that we would deliever on the same day.
Contractions woke me up the next morning. We didn't have any of the hospital bags ready, and so since I was sure that I wasn't going to pop until the 9th of October, I became the rebel in me again and went to target( I need to stop being such a superhero.) Boy, did i regret that! AND to top it off, the contractions which I felt were getting worse (but figured it was normal) brought the beast out of me, so my husband and I were giving each other the silent treatment at target. I mean, he's walking around ignoring me, I'm in so much pain, but won't show because I want to win this fight....Marriage life-can't get any better than that. I eventually gave in because I wanted some pizza hut from the little mini store they have in Target. So I'm sitting stuffing my face, crying my eyes out because how we were ignoring each other at the store. After that whole scene, we reached home, I walked into the bathroom, and BOOM! My water broke!
On our way to the hospital, my husband and I were filled with various emotions. This was it, in just a couple of hours will be meeting our first born. Our excitement showed while we walked into the hospital. Everything we knew about parenting is finally getting put to the test.
Because I was getting a C-Section, everything was just a bit different from having our son natural. We were taken into the surgery room, where they numbed me, and sliced my stomach open( I know, totally TMI.) Travis being his first time, looked beyond disgusted, and felt bad for me. "You seriously can't feel ANY of this?!" He always asked. And I couldn't. I was too drugged up, or probably too full of excitement that pain didn't matter so much, I just want him OUT! Lol.
After ten minutes I heard his cry..........and that's when it hit. My son is here. That cry changed my whole entire perspective on life. Finally being able to see what I have held in my stomach was worth it all. That cry was a cry of peace, and new beginnings.
Here at home, and him being a week and two days old, my daily routines to sleeping habits have totally changed. Everything I think about and do is always based on him. From going places, to our future. He has not only become my top priority, but my motivation to become better, to live better, and to do better.
It is beyond crazy how your kids can motivate you to do things you thought you would never accomplish. How they're able to make you smile every morning.......how they're able to make a bad day a great one just by a simple hug, kiss, smile....Since I have had my son, I have woken up every morning excited to give him that tender, love, and care. Nothing else matters anymore. Everyone is only an option.
I am thankful for the plan of salvation, and for the understanding that my family can be together, forever. Babies are the closest will ever be to heaven. And I am glad I got a peace of heaven.
Love this feeling of being a mother. Xo, Travis, line, and baby Fa'amoana :)
It's all pretty funny how he came to be. He is actually 2 weeks premature, which isn't too bad at all, comparing to the fact that he was suppose to come out earlier and stay in the NICU. I actually had my baby shower the night before I went into labor. so everything happen just on time. What makes this even more of a blessing is how my best friend and I had our sons on the same day. My husband has convinced himself that the full moon sparked the fuse of us having our kids the very next day. I just blame our intense walk home from the baby shower. My best friends and I tend to be little rebels, so when we're told not to do something, we're already half way done doing it. We walked home, and totally jinxed ourselves that we would deliever on the same day.
Contractions woke me up the next morning. We didn't have any of the hospital bags ready, and so since I was sure that I wasn't going to pop until the 9th of October, I became the rebel in me again and went to target( I need to stop being such a superhero.) Boy, did i regret that! AND to top it off, the contractions which I felt were getting worse (but figured it was normal) brought the beast out of me, so my husband and I were giving each other the silent treatment at target. I mean, he's walking around ignoring me, I'm in so much pain, but won't show because I want to win this fight....Marriage life-can't get any better than that. I eventually gave in because I wanted some pizza hut from the little mini store they have in Target. So I'm sitting stuffing my face, crying my eyes out because how we were ignoring each other at the store. After that whole scene, we reached home, I walked into the bathroom, and BOOM! My water broke!
On our way to the hospital, my husband and I were filled with various emotions. This was it, in just a couple of hours will be meeting our first born. Our excitement showed while we walked into the hospital. Everything we knew about parenting is finally getting put to the test.
Because I was getting a C-Section, everything was just a bit different from having our son natural. We were taken into the surgery room, where they numbed me, and sliced my stomach open( I know, totally TMI.) Travis being his first time, looked beyond disgusted, and felt bad for me. "You seriously can't feel ANY of this?!" He always asked. And I couldn't. I was too drugged up, or probably too full of excitement that pain didn't matter so much, I just want him OUT! Lol.
After ten minutes I heard his cry..........and that's when it hit. My son is here. That cry changed my whole entire perspective on life. Finally being able to see what I have held in my stomach was worth it all. That cry was a cry of peace, and new beginnings.
Here at home, and him being a week and two days old, my daily routines to sleeping habits have totally changed. Everything I think about and do is always based on him. From going places, to our future. He has not only become my top priority, but my motivation to become better, to live better, and to do better.
It is beyond crazy how your kids can motivate you to do things you thought you would never accomplish. How they're able to make you smile every morning.......how they're able to make a bad day a great one just by a simple hug, kiss, smile....Since I have had my son, I have woken up every morning excited to give him that tender, love, and care. Nothing else matters anymore. Everyone is only an option.
I am thankful for the plan of salvation, and for the understanding that my family can be together, forever. Babies are the closest will ever be to heaven. And I am glad I got a peace of heaven.
Love this feeling of being a mother. Xo, Travis, line, and baby Fa'amoana :)
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