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Monday, January 31, 2011
reality.
today was like any other monday.FAIL!woke up to sila bringing her friends over when she knew i was sleeping in the living room!shave me!!!i hate that feeling of people staring at me.creeps me out...wayyyy out!anyway-on top of all of that it seemed like my pops was having a hard morning.he called me to come get him from work and drive him around like the gas was on Full!!that car has never EVER been on FULL!!thats like our family actually being full off dinner.but who has dinner?ahahaha, anyway-i saved all my money, and i spent it all in five minutes on what?????BILLS!!why did i have to grow up soooo fast?!ughhh!
Anyway-
its just one of those days where nothings going right, and even if you try to do something great, its a total mess. Everytime you think of something great, you still have that one negative stuck in the back of your mind!all ive been trying to do is forget it, its not my problem.but on top of that problem grows more, and MORE problems.so much to handle, that even when you try holding your tears back, they over flow out, and everyones staring at you like, the hell??she was just happy, whats wrong?!i cry at the sight of reality!imagination is something i stay more focused on because its something i want!its something that makes that problem not matter.............at the moment.but the more we do away with it, the bigger the problem gets, and reality hits harder, and harder, and sooo HARD you become selfish.you only do whats good for yourself.you only care for yourself, and expect everyone to go your way, or the high way.my familys probably reading this and is like, your explaining yourself!hahaha, i know i am.i can be selfish. Money is my worst enemy.i spend it like it grows on trees!what makes it even more sad is i didnt realize how bad it was until i watched confessions of a shopoholic!i cried!hahahahaha!but the point is. There are times where its okay to think for ourselves, but keeping that as a constant to where your always doing it can damage you. Thats how many people lose trust in others, is because they only think whats best for themselves.i remember when i had a friend.this person would always ask what did i do wrong?when this person knew for sure that what they were doing wrong was totally there fault.and this person kept asking the same question, causing more and more tension between many..and since then, this person is the talk of the town, and has NO one because of the selfish actions this person put on themselves.and we sit and ask whos to blame?YOUR to blame!if you cant take consequences for your own actions, then you cant face reality, and if you cant face reality, then what can you face?what people will trust you?reality is the bigger, harder, more fulfilling picture.although you may have to sacrifice alot, in the long run, you will look back and notice how many lives you saved, how productive you were, and all the lessons that has made you the person you are!never isolate yourself from the world, percive yourself as another helping hand, waiting to be noticed by many. Become your dream, and live reality like service.remeber, there is no I in TEAM.
On a good note.
Me and my baby lamonai have made up our mind.UH-HUH!you know what it is!BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW!MY STEELERS ARE GONNA TAKE IT!pakers?whos that?ahahaha!bought bby monai a steeler outfit from fanzz!his pops is the biggest paker fan ever.whoop.dee.do time for a change nonu fam!hahaha love my bby monai :)
Anyway-
its just one of those days where nothings going right, and even if you try to do something great, its a total mess. Everytime you think of something great, you still have that one negative stuck in the back of your mind!all ive been trying to do is forget it, its not my problem.but on top of that problem grows more, and MORE problems.so much to handle, that even when you try holding your tears back, they over flow out, and everyones staring at you like, the hell??she was just happy, whats wrong?!i cry at the sight of reality!imagination is something i stay more focused on because its something i want!its something that makes that problem not matter.............at the moment.but the more we do away with it, the bigger the problem gets, and reality hits harder, and harder, and sooo HARD you become selfish.you only do whats good for yourself.you only care for yourself, and expect everyone to go your way, or the high way.my familys probably reading this and is like, your explaining yourself!hahaha, i know i am.i can be selfish. Money is my worst enemy.i spend it like it grows on trees!what makes it even more sad is i didnt realize how bad it was until i watched confessions of a shopoholic!i cried!hahahahaha!but the point is. There are times where its okay to think for ourselves, but keeping that as a constant to where your always doing it can damage you. Thats how many people lose trust in others, is because they only think whats best for themselves.i remember when i had a friend.this person would always ask what did i do wrong?when this person knew for sure that what they were doing wrong was totally there fault.and this person kept asking the same question, causing more and more tension between many..and since then, this person is the talk of the town, and has NO one because of the selfish actions this person put on themselves.and we sit and ask whos to blame?YOUR to blame!if you cant take consequences for your own actions, then you cant face reality, and if you cant face reality, then what can you face?what people will trust you?reality is the bigger, harder, more fulfilling picture.although you may have to sacrifice alot, in the long run, you will look back and notice how many lives you saved, how productive you were, and all the lessons that has made you the person you are!never isolate yourself from the world, percive yourself as another helping hand, waiting to be noticed by many. Become your dream, and live reality like service.remeber, there is no I in TEAM.
On a good note.
Me and my baby lamonai have made up our mind.UH-HUH!you know what it is!BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW!MY STEELERS ARE GONNA TAKE IT!pakers?whos that?ahahaha!bought bby monai a steeler outfit from fanzz!his pops is the biggest paker fan ever.whoop.dee.do time for a change nonu fam!hahaha love my bby monai :)
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Sunday, January 30, 2011
really tho!
Had an amazing day with my cannon sisters.love getting together after church and talk about random stuff!these girls know me tooooo well!!hahahaha, likewise for me!soo happy for nancy!get 'em girl!hahaha love you guys sooo much :)
-anywayyy.
I may come off as one funny homie, BUT-believe me, act hard and brand new, and you best believe ill act B-R-A-N-D NEW!!ahahaha, yah-but who doesnt.people are always going to defend themselves!i know i speak before i think.im a sucker at it too.BUT its something i knowww i need to improve on.sometimes holding your tounge can save more hearts than break 'em. Its funny how i see it!do all the talkin' but cant walk the talk.what are you trying to prove?!that your something your not?!all i want is for people to do YOU!you cant be beyonce cuhz shes taken, you cant be tupac, cuhz we already he was black and crip banginn!just do you.i know i try being someone or something im not, its natural.we want to be the IT!like the clown!ahaha, its alll good tho!aha, seriously if you smoke cuhz you wanna, thats you.if ya drink cuhz ya wanna, thats you!you goin on your mission cuhz ya wanna!thats YOU!be proud for who you are, and back up the things you do.people blame peer pressure.my sister lita says it best, "HASNT ANYONE HEARD OF SELF CONTROL?" Its up to you if you wanna do it or not!no one puts a gun to your head, and makes you do it.unless your getting raped, then thats....all bad, BUT ANYWAY!haha, learn to control yourself, the only reason you give in is because you have given up on what really matters most to you. I should be the last one to talk, but this is one of the many lessons i have learned in life. And thats sad im only 18 and going thru trails that a 30 year old should be facing.fml!hahaha, but i cant go thru life trying to please everyone, i would wake up unhappy, and feel as if i was living two lives!ahahahaha, your probably like wow shes weird......AND????ahahahaha, but just be sure that your ready to accept what you do, and the choices you make.
~on a bon note(bon means good in portugese, thanks bro)
Sila was taking home my little bro hiva cuhz he pooped his pants, and my sis goes-"hiva, why did you poop your pants?" Hiva-"cuhz i didnt wanna bomb the bathroom!!"bahahahahahahaha!this little kid gets the best of us!love my liddo man :)
-anywayyy.
I may come off as one funny homie, BUT-believe me, act hard and brand new, and you best believe ill act B-R-A-N-D NEW!!ahahaha, yah-but who doesnt.people are always going to defend themselves!i know i speak before i think.im a sucker at it too.BUT its something i knowww i need to improve on.sometimes holding your tounge can save more hearts than break 'em. Its funny how i see it!do all the talkin' but cant walk the talk.what are you trying to prove?!that your something your not?!all i want is for people to do YOU!you cant be beyonce cuhz shes taken, you cant be tupac, cuhz we already he was black and crip banginn!just do you.i know i try being someone or something im not, its natural.we want to be the IT!like the clown!ahaha, its alll good tho!aha, seriously if you smoke cuhz you wanna, thats you.if ya drink cuhz ya wanna, thats you!you goin on your mission cuhz ya wanna!thats YOU!be proud for who you are, and back up the things you do.people blame peer pressure.my sister lita says it best, "HASNT ANYONE HEARD OF SELF CONTROL?" Its up to you if you wanna do it or not!no one puts a gun to your head, and makes you do it.unless your getting raped, then thats....all bad, BUT ANYWAY!haha, learn to control yourself, the only reason you give in is because you have given up on what really matters most to you. I should be the last one to talk, but this is one of the many lessons i have learned in life. And thats sad im only 18 and going thru trails that a 30 year old should be facing.fml!hahaha, but i cant go thru life trying to please everyone, i would wake up unhappy, and feel as if i was living two lives!ahahahaha, your probably like wow shes weird......AND????ahahahaha, but just be sure that your ready to accept what you do, and the choices you make.
~on a bon note(bon means good in portugese, thanks bro)
Sila was taking home my little bro hiva cuhz he pooped his pants, and my sis goes-"hiva, why did you poop your pants?" Hiva-"cuhz i didnt wanna bomb the bathroom!!"bahahahahahahaha!this little kid gets the best of us!love my liddo man :)
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forgive and forget.
sunday morning.probably one of the days where i feel most at ease with myself.im most def. not into yoga.but i do feel like my body is mending with my spirit.i think it's from my morning talks with my mom. every sunday morning, me, my mom, and my little sister wake up, and walk straight into my mom's room and talk about random things.we've always done this. i think we do it because my mom and her sisters would to likewise with my grandma. its soo cool to see traditions like this still be soo strong. after a hard looonnngg week, its always good to talk about things with my mom and sister to lighten the load. i LOVE and CHERiSH these times :)
ANYwAYYYY!!-
once again, concrats to my dearest sister fusi and olaiha. yesterday coulnt be any greater, and you two really LOOK like a married couple!it was soo nice to see the family be happy again, reguardless of all our differences. we still came out on top. no matter where you are, or where your from. its all about family.wake up, you could have the worst feeling towards them, or even wanna diclaim them..pppfffftttt, our culture is based on family relations, busting a move like that only makes you look stupid!its soo funny watching gangs these days claim only those they ate saimini with ever since they were young.uhhhhh, CRICKETS!!!last time i checked, bLood is wayyyyy T H I C K E R than saimini water, too thick to compare actually!!realize that once you splat your soo called enemy, you shed the blood of your own. FAMiLY is where it starts and ends. FAMiLY are the people you see in the morning when you wake up, and last ones to see when you sleep(except the weekends, thats a different story)keeping bonds neutral between your own relations with others, only provides better strengths for you, and LESS haters. this is a lesson learned for me, i did have times when family wasnt all that and a bag of chips for me...but it shouldnt be hard to realize WHO will have your back when it comes down to it.thankful for such a BiG HUGE FAMiLY!h2o STAY drippin like watahhh!lol.
(on a guhhoood note)
love my mom. shes a natural at who she is, and all she does. i am super blessed to have an amazing mother figure like her. although i know i take her for granted, she is very special to my heart, and i cant see myself having a more mature mother as her. im the lucky one. to have as patient as a mother as her, i know i am who i am because of her examples, and also advice she gives.LOVE YOU MOMMA! <3
ANYwAYYYY!!-
once again, concrats to my dearest sister fusi and olaiha. yesterday coulnt be any greater, and you two really LOOK like a married couple!it was soo nice to see the family be happy again, reguardless of all our differences. we still came out on top. no matter where you are, or where your from. its all about family.wake up, you could have the worst feeling towards them, or even wanna diclaim them..pppfffftttt, our culture is based on family relations, busting a move like that only makes you look stupid!its soo funny watching gangs these days claim only those they ate saimini with ever since they were young.uhhhhh, CRICKETS!!!last time i checked, bLood is wayyyyy T H I C K E R than saimini water, too thick to compare actually!!realize that once you splat your soo called enemy, you shed the blood of your own. FAMiLY is where it starts and ends. FAMiLY are the people you see in the morning when you wake up, and last ones to see when you sleep(except the weekends, thats a different story)keeping bonds neutral between your own relations with others, only provides better strengths for you, and LESS haters. this is a lesson learned for me, i did have times when family wasnt all that and a bag of chips for me...but it shouldnt be hard to realize WHO will have your back when it comes down to it.thankful for such a BiG HUGE FAMiLY!h2o STAY drippin like watahhh!lol.
(on a guhhoood note)
love my mom. shes a natural at who she is, and all she does. i am super blessed to have an amazing mother figure like her. although i know i take her for granted, she is very special to my heart, and i cant see myself having a more mature mother as her. im the lucky one. to have as patient as a mother as her, i know i am who i am because of her examples, and also advice she gives.LOVE YOU MOMMA! <3
Saturday, January 29, 2011
morning maddness.
i hate the fact that i think way better in the morning!!like, the answer to my math problem that i needed help with, uhh yah, how ABOUT i just realized that the answer is 22.the hellllll??haha, im not a morning person at all, but yet i tend to think better in the morning.like ill sleep at 4 in the morning, and by nine i have soo much in my head, i lay in bed and think about it.hoii, shave me!
*ANyWAy:
last night i hung out with my beautiful sisters. it feels soo stress free when im with them.like, the only people that matter in that moment is US.anyway, gettin' lifted and all, we began to talk about our differences. im soo thankful to have such an understanding sister.HONA!!can be the quiet one, but dont tickle her belly, she might just blow!ahahahaha!thanks for that.i noticed HOW selfish i was. its soo funny, because everyone would just nod and agree with me on what i was saying, when really, everything i was saying is not right. sucks that i cant turn back time now. but this is just a lessoned learned. its not so muchh that i regret this, but i do know better thanks to you!!loveLOVE<3 you sis!!
.ON a kOOd note.
sis fusi is getting married today.this will be a fun wedding, and turned out to everything she wanted it to be. to my family-thanks for being the amazing people that you are. we all are different, but when it comes down to it...we all have grandpas nose!ahahahaha, love my H20, we stay drippin' like wata!aha :)
*ANyWAy:
last night i hung out with my beautiful sisters. it feels soo stress free when im with them.like, the only people that matter in that moment is US.anyway, gettin' lifted and all, we began to talk about our differences. im soo thankful to have such an understanding sister.HONA!!can be the quiet one, but dont tickle her belly, she might just blow!ahahahaha!thanks for that.i noticed HOW selfish i was. its soo funny, because everyone would just nod and agree with me on what i was saying, when really, everything i was saying is not right. sucks that i cant turn back time now. but this is just a lessoned learned. its not so muchh that i regret this, but i do know better thanks to you!!loveLOVE<3 you sis!!
.ON a kOOd note.
sis fusi is getting married today.this will be a fun wedding, and turned out to everything she wanted it to be. to my family-thanks for being the amazing people that you are. we all are different, but when it comes down to it...we all have grandpas nose!ahahahaha, love my H20, we stay drippin' like wata!aha :)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
* ssssttttttrrreeesssssssddd :(
2011.the year before we all die, and for more than half of us, the year before we die and burn in hell.school, work, and everything in between-i feel like what im living in IS hell.but whatever-recently got a used car.turns out im wasting more money trying to fix it than actually drive the danngggg thing!haha, cant complain, its something to get me from one place to another!haa.
--*ANYWAY...
Jazmine sullivan's song-LOVE yOU LONg TiME has been on rrreeeaaapppeeaaatt for the past hour!she's the R E A L D E A L!!real singer, awesome lyrics, beautiful all around!!this song relaxes me for some reason.makes my insides just jump in&out of my holy mahi!ahaha, okay im dramatic!hahaha, but it truely is an awesome song :)
-cant wait for spring break.my heads hurting like cuhrazyyy!i need some infactuation and relaxation!i think we all do. Cuhz i for sure dont wanna be twenty, and already have more grey hairs then on my grandmas big TOE!haha, nbfrt- for me, the worst part of being stressed is coming home to a family who also had a badddd day.my moms always tired from work, dad's the same, sil is stressed from school, and joe-well basketball and school done has him tired by the time he gets home. Taking out all our anger here at home means fist fighting with joe, mom slapping me on my head for not closing my eyes during prayer, dad too tired to makd dinner, that its pizza again for the 30th time, and sila knocking out at 9, leaving me to entertain my two liddo annoying brothers!ughh!
**bUT On A gOOd nOTE:
-todays positive;uhhhmmm..i got to see my handsome little nephew baby lamonai!he always makes me happy!soo fat, and cute, and all he does is sit and be lazy just like his momma!bahaha, but little kids are the type of people i enjoy being around.ALWAYS filled with ohh sooo much energy!like my liddo cousin hiva, it'll be 12:30 in the morning, and this kid is runnin' up and down the house, asking if we have anymore saimini that he can eat, when really half of the bag is all over the floor!haha, its fun to see little ones learn something new everyday!they repppppeeaatt it over and over again!!like a swear word, they go to school, and say it to all there friends, who then tell there friends, which eventually gets to the teacher, and a call home saying that your son or daughter has said the "B" word to everyone!hahaha :) Thats a WRAP<3 Well thats my tuesday.nothing to grand or out of the ordinary, buttuhh-its somethin special!g'nyyyeehh :) xOxO
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