Moving forward.

I reflect back to my old blogs, and one came up of Travis doing preparation for his mission. What ever happened? Well, God works in mysterious ways.

Who is Travis, Really?(I bet your asking! Lol)

Well, Travis is a quiet, humble, firm LDS believer, speaks out of turn, wants 20 kids, dancer, prancer, sucks at singing, type of husband. He knows what he wants, and what he doesn't want. He has his mind of his own, and doesn't think the worst of things.

19, and having no choice but to go on a mission, was the only thing troubling him. He's such a family man, and loves him mom, dad, grandpa, and siblings so much. Because his life, he was always seen as a father figure to his siblings. He always wanted to be the best example for his brothers especially. But it was hard for him to think of leaving, because all he wanted to do is be there for his family.

Sooooo........Why didn't he go?

Well, everyone makes there own choices, we can all put our opinions in, but really, the only opinion that truly matter is, the lords. After months of trying to convince this kid why a mission is so important, he finally sat me down, and basically, shut me up. He asked me if I pray. I'm like, uh yeah. But he wasn't meaning that, he was asking me if I actually pray, on the daily. If I ever just take the time to talk to God. Back then, I was so rebellious, the spiritual side of me was no longer connecting to me, because of choices that I made in my past. I was slowly giving up on myself, and what I believe in. So, I wasn't able to know exactly what he meant. I kept listening. He told me, that God has always been there for him and his family. The gospel, and the LDS church, has always been there when in need of help. He could never lose the sight of God, after all he has done for him, why shun the the light of god away. He told me he prays all the time, when no one else listens or understands him. He told me he feels like his mission is to take me to the temple. For him to be here, and help me become the firm believer that I once was. "You have a strong mind, too strong that your losing sight of all you believe in....That's why I'm here, to help you.God has answer my prayers, and I know what he wants me to do. This is my decision, and this I won't EVER regret."

I couldn't help but agree. What ever choice he made, I knew he was right. Why? Well, I don't know many people out there who pray for the lords guidance in many things. FOR EVERYTHING. Not even I did, I did what everyone else would do, I gave up in my belief. I did whatever pleased me.

I feel blessed always, that the lord was able to give me a missionary of my own to teach me the small and simple things. To be reminded of why I need to be grateful for all I have. A man with a strong belief in God, and a heart of a missionary, is a man of his word, to me, and to the lord. I have no excuse but to fulfill my husbands calling, and get to the temple. to live a celestial life here on earth.  To become a better me for my family.

The lord calls many, but not all. Some are only to stay to save the one true thing our gospel is based on. FAMILY. To have an eternal one. That is there mission. I'm thankful that the lord blessed me as a daughter of god, to let me remember that I have the greatest.

NO matter what happens, no matter what choices are made, there will always be a reason to it. God allows things to be because he knows the best will come.

To all the Missionary Girlfriends out there, keep up the faith. Not only in him, not only in you, IN GOD. Keep your sight in god, because this is not just a mission for your missionary, it's a mission for YOU. Keep up the great work. :) xoxo

A little bit of Everything.

Well. Lets see, update? I'm 10 weeks, and hating it. I know, I'm horrible because I shouldn't say that, but now I can fully understand why mothers always tell me you don't know what pregnancies all about until you have one. Then here comes the infamous phrase, "I told ya so!!!" I just hope these next months fly by FAST! Ugh, and to think I was so baby hungry. I guess I kept thinking that my baby was really just going to fall from the sky in 9 months. I was obviously wrong. Anyway, My morning sickness is more like, all-day sickness, and my mood swings are not helping either. I was doing so good, cleaned up my potty mouth, so energized, so ready for the marriage life. Now I'm back to step one. I feel so bad for Travis, he has to put up with all the horrible things I say, but clearly don't mean.....sometimes....Lol, aside from all the terrible pains and attitude, I'm excited.

I WAS so ready to have a girl. I have a lot of nephews, and only three nieces, and yeah, my nephews drive me insane! I notice that my nieces mature much more faster than my nephews do. So, if she was able to mature fast, it wouldn't be too hard to raise her.....AND THEN, I thought about myself. If I was mature like how my nieces were young, I started acting like a smart-ash when I was in my teen years. My daughter would be a "MISS KNOW-IT-ALL." Wow, I seriously can't have another me in the family. I think I was bratty enough. So, I pray everyday to have a little boy......ALL BOYS! Lol, I'm kidding. I do want to have a girl...........just NOT NOW!! Lol, but if I do get a little princess, she is going to be a very cute one. After her hot mama! So, just a couple more weeks until we find out what this little blessing is going to be.

As for our marriage life...

What can I say, I truly have the greatest. I love MY BABY BOY! I have gotten past the limits of being lazy, and I feel bad because he works all day, then comes and cooks. I know, I suck, but gosh, if this all-day sickness could stop getting the best of me, I would be the loving wife that I should be, lol. I love our talks, and our two-minute fights we get into, just because we ran out of things to discuss. I love how he's my reminder rock. Do you know what a reminder rock is?(I bet you don't, lol) Well, in young w omens, our teacher made us reminder rocks to put under our pillow to say prayer every morning and night. So if we forget, the rock is there to remind us. And that is what Travis is, except he's not under my pillow, he just always reminds me to say prayer. I love that. We haven't been the greatest when it comes to church. I guess it's because were scared of our ward. Lol, I know, I know, I shouldn't be. But this is both our first time to go to a Samoan ward. And also the feeling of going to church with out your mom and dad is kind of weird. BUT, I should know better, and should go no matter what. After all, the gospel is the same everywhere, from then, until now...until forever. I tell him all my weird dreams I've been having lately, but he tends to laugh at it, and calls me weird. All we do everyday is watch Dinner with the Schmucks. We know that movie from beginning to end. All and all, our basic life revolves around god, and bills...and I wouldn't want it any other way ;)

That's the update on our little soon-to-be Flam-ree. Have a good week bloggers. xoxo :)

Same Problem, Different Person.

I think we can all agree that you always have those friends who are going through things you somewhat went through, or are going through it right now. I can also tell you that no matter how much we seem to think we have totally different problems, it's really the same thing. You are just going through it with a different guy in a different time.

We all will experience heart breaks, and the feeling of losing our first love, but that doesn't stop us from finding a better one. TRUST ME, I have been through the worst in love, and now I am enjoying the sweetest of it.

"LOVE IS PATIENT."

We choose what type of partner we want to seek in life. We choose from the personality to the looks. Either a rich person, or a person with swag, or even, the same sex. What ever it may be, we should not forget that those people, are looking for the same qualities. 

Sometimes, we make quick decisions. We see everyone is falling in love, and we are still standing with the "im Single" sign. We get insecure, and start feeling that we might not be as pretty, or as amazing as our friends, but  DON'T LET GET THE BEST OF YOU. Love is a test. Love will push you closer to who you are looking for. Love will show you how to love yourself, before you are able to love someone else. 

I now realize how important it is to have standards. let me tell you, in the game of LOVE, standards are the key for you to win the game. But what if we lowered our standards? what if we fell short, and gave into worldly pleasure? Every choice comes with it's consequences. Women are known to always fall in love with the first man they have given there virginity to. Why? Because we are so caring, and humans are the only things on this planet that are able to have intimacy face to face. Animals and other creepy things aren't, that's why most UN-human-like things don't feel what only humans can feel. Another amazing unique thing that only happens in human-nature, aren't we just so lucky? Yeah, if we are able to handle it in the right way. 

To make love is beautiful thing. It increases and unleashes feelings of all sorts. Makes you feel like you two are meant for each other in that moment in time. But just like a ball getting toss out the window, so can love. And that is why our parents, our society, our teachers, old people, people who have been hurt by love tell us to wait until Marriage. Seems like the hardest thing to do, right? I know tell me about it. But, taking the time to know who you want, and really get to connect with someone, is better than getting 1.56 seconds of pleasure. Cinderella didn't have to give up her virginity to find her true love, and neither should you. Go lose a shoe! hahaha. There's other ways to find who you want to be with, and you'll know, because you will feel the exact same, it is just dwelling in two different bodies. 

I should be the last person to tell you all  of this. But I'm just as heart broken as others. I FEEL YOUR PAIN, really though. I just want people to know that just because Rihanna went from a good girl gone bad, doesn't mean you have to. Sometimes the road of being desperate, will always end up to be the road of regret. The feeling of being heart-broken will never cure, unless you are able to rebuild yourself, and get your standards back together. Just because you fell short once, doesn't mean you always have to fall short. like Kelly says, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 

Love is patient, and time heals all. Don't let one bad choice, become a bad habit. When emotions are hurt, all you want to do is be heart broken forever. But let's not forget that things happen for a reason, and because we are tested daily. Just because we failed once, doesn't mean we fail forever. There is always room for improvement. It can make you or brake you. 

So when everyone else is waking up in love, and your sitting there still holding your single sign. Hold it with pride, and never settle for any less. You might just see someone else holding there with pride also. It's worth the wait, I promise ;)

It's not JUST a name.

I finally went to the doctors to see how many weeks I am and all. Let's just say I'm happy we got married when we got married. LOL, 8 WEEKS, 5 DAYS, don't judge me -____- lol, just as long as my little blessing is fine and still hanging in there, I'm good with whatever goes.

"Travy"(he hates when I call him that) an I have been talking about names, and what he would name the baby if it was a boy, or a girl. Now, because we are two different cultures, we had to educate each other on why we prefer what we should name our blessing :)

I was raised in a tongan-American culture, where both were taught at home. My oldest brother and I were named after my fathers side, which is considered to be respectful. The wife in our culture shows respect to her husband and also his family by naming the first two oldest (or even all the children if you love him THAT much, lol.) Reason being that basically, from what I was taught, is that you're thanking them for raising the man who is the provider for you and your new family, and also showing that you respect your husband. It shows humilty in the wife, and also shows that you both wear the pants in the relationship, and the wife has no full control, neither does the husband. Now this is how I was raised, and I am grateful I was brought up that way.

I am named after my beautiful grandmother Losaline Lapaho-Tukuafu. My fathers mother. We grow in the American society, where we are able to name our children whatever, which is fine. As for me, I am proud that I am named after someone who has left a legacy, a purpose in life. I wasn't always proud though, in all honesty. Growing up with a polynesian name can be the hardest thing for teachers to pronounce. All my life, I have been called 20 other different names, other than the right way to say it. Eye-rolling everytime i heard a "Losalina" or a "Lusalin" or a "LozaLine(a straight line),"  I would be embarassed everytime because I would hear kids point out the obvious, "hey line, she said your name wong. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Made me feel even more insecure, due to the fact that my last name was also hard to pronounce. Always questioning myself, "What the heck were my parents thinking when they named me this name?" yup, I was so close to changing my name to Beyonce, lol.

It wasn't until I had to do research on my name. The meaning behind why I hold the name I hold. Who better to ask, then the man who named me, my dad. Turns out my dad only knew so little too. His mom died the night of his 4th birthday, so he only can remember so much. BUT, my grandma happen to be a very popular lady. My dad became best friends with her friends, asking them all about this lady who was the mother of him and his12 siblings. They told many great stories of how hard-working, and caring she was. How she adored each one of her children, and also a very firm believer in the church.Stories about how she would walk miles to get to church with her kids, and how she gave all she had away to get to NZ to be married in the temple. My dad says that although he didn't know much of her, he feels like she lives through him, and me. How she had her trials to get her to the temple, and how I have mine, to get to the same place.

It's amazing how we end up being just like our namesake, and not even know it. How a name tells a whole different story. A name, a passing of a legend from one generation to the next. It's always nice to look up to someone who made it through hard times, and trials. Who learned about the greatness in life. Who walked through what you are going through now. That is motivation, and a full understanding of why a name is more then just a name.

What's in a name? A whole different life, that we know only so much about. I hope when we are able to choose a name for my little blessing, it will be a great one.For you hold more than just a name, but the blessing that comes with it.

I laugh at how excited I am to be pregnant. I guess this is how all wives are with there first.

Safe weekend to all, go crazy! xoxo

The Bun Is In The Oven.

I always mention how amazed at where I am today. How All in a moments time, everything changes, and all that I thought I knew about, I had no idea. God, Love, Money, Family. All changes when your the one who's creating it. Pregnant, I am, and more than excited for it, indeed. My intentions were not to be expecting at this time, but I must always keep in mind, it's not my time and place, but god's. To create a child of god is a blessing I've always longed for. To have a blessing of my own, and for that blessing to have the opportunity to pass the veil is one that I truly think has more than power to come to earth, but to have a body combined with a spirit, a personality to compliment the looks, and to go through life's trials and tribulations to find who they really are, is only something that only God himself can do. To show us how strong and able we are as humans to withstand the evil which Satan has brought in this world. I for one am MORE than grateful that I will be able to be the teacher of my children, to show them the right from wrong, to be able to teach this blessing of mine, the mysterious works of god.

Bittersweet, this feeling is. Bitter because how do I teach them what's right, when I for one have been through the wrong paths? How do I as a mother teach this blessing how to get the best of life, without taking the road I took? It always troubles me as to how I will go about this. Like on the TV show "weeds" where Karma takes it's toll. I always think back to my parents, who were amazing in their teachings. They taught me the best that they can, why was it so hard for me just to do as they say. I guess some of us just have to go through our own experiences to realize that what are parents taught us is RIGHT, and no matter how many times we make up excuses to prove that we are right-er, were not.

I realized that my parents knew that I will have trials of my own, and I will be in the battle between the world and the gospel. And although my trials have brought the worst out of me, the teachings and blessings my parents taught me since I was young still are with me. So you teach them young to do right, because when they have finally reached that age where they will be put to the test, all you can do as parents is hope that what your children have grown up to know, understand, and what they have been constantly taught, will be with them always, no matter how many choices and mistakes happen. That's the sweet part of the bitter. You will always remember who taught you what is right, and who will be their even when the sun don't shine(miguel voice, lol.)

My parents always taught me to thank the lord first, before ever thanking them for anything. Coming to realize that my parents make human errors also, and no matter how hard, or how many times they were fed up with me, they prayed to the on highest also, to soften their hearts, for they are learning how to deal with me, lol. I'm thankful and excited that because my husband and I were taught the same moral values, it becomes easier for us to teach our kids what our parents have taught us. The morals which have been passed from generation to generation.

I'm still in my first trimester, and do everything I can to make sure nothing happens to this blessing, since it is still in it's very fragile stages. BUT, I know that God always takes care of his little ones, because he loves them dearly. As for me, I'm not excited to blow up and look like a huge elephant, but the joy of eating whatever I please and have the excuse "I'm pregnant" makes the elephant looking part not so bad after all.

This is one adventure I'm excited to take, and I hope this blessing will become a great singer like me, and a.....alright dancer like the daddy. Lol, god is good. :)

you do whaaaaat?

It will be a month tomorrow since my husband and I have been married, and let me tell ya, we have finally reached the stage of "I didn't know you were like that," in our marriage life. It's so funny how you date, and fall in love with this, oh-so-amazing-guy-you-thought-only-existed-in-movies, but really after all the "i-do's" are said and done, in comes the "i had no idea" parts. But I figure that's what makes marriage life much more interesting. 

HOW OUR MARRIAGE LIFE IS REALLY LIKE.

Travis being the stay at home mom.

That's just me looking like beyonce, being the hott daddy ;) 

For example, My husband from the get-go told me he's all about dance and basketball, but who would've guessed he bakes?! MY HUSBAND BAKES! cookies, to cakes, to these little mini thingys with cream-filling inside. I mean, jeeze, I for one, only know how to use the microwave, and am a pro at that, but him knowing how to bake, wow I feel like I failed as a wife, as a mother, and definitely as a best friend! He claims he doesn't mind, and I hope he doesn't, I mean when I was growing up, we only had a stove, a griddle, and a microwave. So not much baking done there. Anyway, I was shocked, and determined to be the lady that sings on the "anything you can do, I can do better, I can do anything better than you." So I sit hopelessly on pintrest, and google looking for recipes on baking and cooking in general since I suck at that too. And although he has beat me there, I will never get over the fact that my husband bakes. NEVER.

...But you think that's all I had no idea about. Well let me tell you what he never saw coming from MUAH! Woke up one morning and Travis was up sitting in the living room. Me, of course not caring much of that, and caring more about getting to sleep in, gets up, walks to the kitchen, and smiles. BEST SLEEP EVER....for me. Unfortunately, Travis is shocked that I snore. And he says it's not just any normal, breathing in and out snore, it's like so loud and obnoxious...."Like a pig with a really small nose, using his mouth to gasp for air typa-snore."(so he says.) He figures I also kept the neighbors up. I just laugh, because I know me, I SLEEP CUTE, that's why I call it beauty sleep, BECAUSE I DON'T SNORE. He begs to differ, and ask that I tune it down a little when I sleep. I start feeling really bad that i "supposedly" snore like a warthog. anyway, I attempted to grant his wishes, and wait for him to fall asleep first....uhh yeah, FAIL. I'm that type of person that all you got to do is give me a bed, a blanket, and a pillow, and I'm out 2 seconds later. So, now that he has figured our I'm a hibernating BEAR, he sleeps before me, and just as long as I'm not keeping him up, I'm one happy camper, and so is he.

It's funny because you think you know all about one person, but really you have no idea. Pretty much clueless when you get married. So what, right? Well, I guess some of us aren't so lucky. I'd have to say Travis rather listen to my killer snores, than finding out I'm a Husband murderer, like the lady on Medea goes to jail...but in that case, it would be Travis being a killer, because he bakes brownies for his brownie....Going back on subject. I guess we still have a lot to learn about each other...a WHOLE LIFE TIME. I just barely found out his favorite color is red, and he just found out when my birthday is. Turns out it's the same as my mother-in-law (his mom) so he wants to make us matching shirts with arrows pointing at each other, saying "we're twins because we have the same birthday." Yes, he gets that annoying my blogger friends. But, as long as we both get a laugh out of it, it's all good. 

From here, I've learned that bills will always pile up, money will never meet all our expectations, and faith combined with work, is all the magic you need to make two souls dwell as one, with each other, and with god. Although we have hit rock bottom ALREADY, all we keep doing is aiming high, and keeping a clear conscious. I feel that's how we really keep in touch with each other spiritually, and mentally. That's how we build our trust, our friendship, and our marriage to last forever. 

So, I guess it's one month to eternity. All aboard y'all. safe weekend friends and family. xoxo :)