The value of pictures.

So I guess what I have recently realized, thanks to instagram, is how much value a picture has. From throwback Thursdays, I'm always posting up the best times in my life, and then it hit me. I have never seen a picture of my mom when she was pregnant. She only has baby pictures of us. Not one ultrasound, not one with her belly, it's completely weird. Like we weren't born from her womb!! Hahahaha, well since we're in a new generation, and cameras are more easy to get ahold of, I have decided to post pictures of my pregnancy, not only for future references, but the value they treasure. So enjoy :)

What a soul means to a mother.

My great grandmother went through baring children, so did my grandmother, and my mother. Now, it is my turn, and I can fully understand why the gift of baring children is one of the greatest blessings god has only given to us women.

I am currently laying my body on a hospital bed, with a monitor stuck to my stomach listening to my baby's heart beat. The pure sound of relief, and peace. Hooked to an IV, with my husband on the side constantly kissing my face, our life has just taken us on one of the biggest turns, and has made us realize the pure meaning of "expect the worst, hope for the best."

Yesterday was a usual day, doctors appointment, work, and then home to my love. Our usual talks about how our day went, who's feet stinks, and complaining that our AC doesn't work. It wasn't until our friends walked when I started to feel uneasy. Talking with my best friend Lupe, I was out of mostly all the conversations. My head was dizzy, and i was too weak to stand up. I sat on the floor of my apartment, and just waited for them to leave. They left, and I stood in shock, I literally was drenched in blood. Having no phone, none of my emergency bags ready, and a husband who has no idea where the hospital was, hit me hard. I had no idea what to do, all I could think about was my unborn son. Our drive to the hospital was a time where my husband and I just sat in tears. So many questions filled my head, so many doubts took over my thinking, so much emotional pain took over my body. My first pregnancy, my third trimester, my soon to be first son was not coming the way I was expecting. Even the words of "will be okay" meant nothing at the time.

Arrived to the emergency room, blood rushing down my legs, I prepared myself for the worst. Praying to god to please take me, let my son live, let him come through the plan of salvation, let him take the time to experience the meaning of free agency. Lucky enough this little soldier was still safe and sound, still being totally active in my belly, still kicking the crap out of me. To hear the heart beat was definitely one of the most peaceful things to hear. Made me realize that god still wants him to come.

Sitting here, I now have fully understood the purest gift of being a mother. The heart we hold inside our body, the kicks we feel, the pure connection we make with our child. this soul is a big part of our life only because we create them. we show tender, love, and care from the moment we find out we are pregnant.
So when the slightest shift is made, we love so hard because it is our kids who teach us how to love, so when they are older, we teach them what they actually have taught us. That love will only and always be between a mother and child, and that to me is pure magic.

I'm doing fine, just on bed rest for the rest of my days until labor. C-section is the only option as of now, but just had the priesthood bestow a blessing hoping that whatever the outcome maybe, it will all be worth it. Life is so valuable, so I know I must cherish every moment.