A pregnant lady's rant...

What do I need to do to go into labor faster?!?!

Well, after doing all the wacky tricks that I have tried everyday this past week...some tricks made me run to the bathroom more than it actually help me go into labor, I have finally come down to a solution...

To go into labor faster, I need patience[insert disgusted face here] 

AINT NO PREGNANT MOMMA GOT THE TIME FO'DAT! Hahaha.

As the last 2 weeks unwind, and as I anxiously await for my second child to be here- time seems to be going by super slow...and when I mean slow, I mean I have no contractions what so-ever, NOTHING. 

I think I'm more excited of seeing my son have a sibling, because I know how it feels like to have sibs of my own. They are your very first best friends and worst enemies all at once! I happen to be all my sibs worst enemy....hmm.

As bittersweet as it is to have Fa'amoana not be the only child anymore, I am excited to see him play a new roll, which is being an older brother...As spoiled as he is, I figured it's going to take a couple months, years......maybe centuries, but I know he will...well, eventually be the bestest older sibling to his brother! 

I'm excited for 2014 to start off with a bang........of patience! Hahaha, I am just too excited for what this year has in store for my little family of four! 

Happy new year family and friends! 

And all those little things...

It's been a huge blessing being able to watch my son grow. He's so observant, so energetic, and so loud! Lol. He keeps me on my toes. Over the last few months, he is starting to know who is who, and who will give him what he wants, and who won't! When we are getting ready to leave, he knows it, and will stand by the door just to make sure we don't leave him. He knows how to say "mam" and "ded" and loves getting into trouble! 

I look back on the first couple months of when he was born and just remember those moments when I thought I'd give in...I would say I did go through some-what the 'baby blues.' I always overwhelmed myself with thoughts of how am I going to do this? Over time, my son has taught me so much, and has given me this strength that only he can give me to be a better mother.

I go through nights just laying with him on my bed, trying to remember how life was like before him, and honestly, I can't ever remember being as happy as I am now that he has came into my life. Sometimes I feel like even my love for him isn't enough, I literally want to grab this entire world just to prove it to him!

...and then I get those early morning kisses with slobber all over my face as if he were a dog, and him running to me after I've been away from him only for a few hours, and those moments where all he wants to do is cuddle with me...and that just puts me into realization, that all the love and care I give to him is enough and worth it all. 

No one has ever made me as happy as he has and continues to do...no one has given me motivation like he does, and foremost, no one can make me smile like he can. The innocence of one child goes such a long way to a mother. This year, I am grateful to be blessed with a healthy son, and also have the blessing to be carrying another healthy little boy who will be here in January! My life may not seem all that great, or may even bore you! Lol, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything, because being a mom is the greatest title to hold in this world, and a great person to be. 

Busy Bee

Since getting back to school has been keeping my whole day busy, I'm honestly glad I can go to bed knowing I've accomplished something. Papers after papers that need to be filled out, finding the academic advisors and planning for this week to talk to them. As much work as it is, I enjoy it. Now I just have my fingers crossed that I will be able to officially get back in school without having to pay all my millions of fines! Eeeeekkk!

Paper work for school, also means paper work for my second pregnancy. So I'll take some time to do my school papers, and then I'll switch to doing my pregnancy papers. Went to the baby your baby clinic and found out a rough estimate of how far along I just might be. We're making a guess of 17 weeks, and it does feel about right. I have just gotten over my 'morning sickness' stage a couple weeks back, so now well have to wait until our first ultra sound to be sure.

With all that's coming and expecting, I seriously don't feel overwhelmed at all. I'm not trying to be a super mom when I say that, I just feel like I'm ready for a new challenge. I know moms who work, go to school, and are full time mothers. Heck, my mom is that mother who can juggle so much all at once. I use to think it was talent, and that only certain moms can do that, but honestly it's just all in the mind. One thing that has helped me realized how to accomplish so much in a day is "TIME MANAGEMENT." It's funny because I remember learning that in college, and how my teachers stressed it so much to use our time wisely. Being a student at the time, procrastination was the only word that was in my vocabulary. Being a mother, I can understand that now time is everything. Especially for children at this young age. My son has to wake up at a certain time, eat a certain time, sleep, etc. I see how healthy it is to manage my time and his, because I feel like I get everything done, giving me extra time to do things I can catch up on, like blogging!

I'm glad that I have found motivation in me to get up, get out, and do something great!

"Try a Little Harder to be a Little Better"

Those days you just wake up and wonder where is your life taking you...I've been having those lately. I love being a stay at home mom, but I think I have gotten too comfortable with the words "stay-at-home" that I literally stay at home. No set time to wake up, no set curfew on when to sleep, no stress, absolutely nothing changes. Just surprises me that I am like that now comparing myself to a year ago, where I seriously felt like I had ants in my pants and needed to be anywhere BUT home. As much as I enjoy it, especially because I am pregnant, I just feel....Well, LAZY. My parents love and adore my son.. They love to babysit him, spoil him, and just flat out do anything for him. I admit, I do have it easy living under my parents roof. They baby me just as much as they baby him. I have gotten so comfortable at where I am at right now, and I guess it is because living on my own the first months of my marriage it was straight up living the struggle. From living from paycheck to paycheck, to eating saimini on most nights. Just remembering the times when Mc. Donald's felt like a 5 star restaurant, and a bonus with the free wi-fi.  At that time it was only me and my husband, and we could barely manage.

Now that our situation is a little more stable, and I am also in that part of my life where I am not trying to live in the fast lane, it's time to take opportunities. These feelings of "what do I do now?" Or "What am I going to do today?" motivated me to get back into the groove and take advantage of my living situation. My culture is based around two things. Everything you do you do for 1- God and 2- Family. My job as a mother is to be the exampler. Not only to teach my kids to " Do as I say," but also "Do as I do." I plan on doing that spiritually, and educationally. Basically showing no matter how many wrongs you make in life, you can always make it right.

I can attest to the statement of "Life is our greatest teacher," as I had a fair share in my young life. It has taught me to take risk, and also has taught me what happens when you don't listen to your parents the first twenty times they told you not to do something. It has made me wiser, and has taught me that imperfections can be perfected. It has brought me to this point, where I have a family of my own, and am willing to sacrifice my time and energy to better their future. I have come long ways, but still have long ways to go. I have many things to accomplish, and many things to improve on, and that I do firmly understand. I just barely took a bite out of my 20's, I still have a lot of time to get my family on track.

Truly the only things that get in my way is falling back into laziness...Sad, it's not even my little growing family, it's just my personal problem...wahh! Lol. But waking up to my sons laugh every morning, and my husband working over time every night has brought me back into perspective on what my job is, and what I need to do to be just a little bit better. I have registered for school, and still have a couple bumps I need to smooth out, but hopefully will be handled just in time for fall semester. I have gained back my passion for becoming a teacher, and I thank being a primary teacher for that. As much as I dread preparing my lesson, it always feels satisfying teaching a class of 4 to 5 kids every Sunday. Just knowing that they know a little bit more has hinted to me to keep pushing for what I want.

 "IF YOU WANT TO BE SOMEBODY, IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE, YOU BETTER WAKKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION."

 

 I know what I'm lacking in life, but I also know what I need to do to get me back on the boat to stay afloat. Simply going out and giving it all I got. God has gave me tons of opportunities, some of which I have been lucky enough to get back. Doesn't happen often, but with this second time coming around, I truly wouldn't miss it for the world.

UPDATE!

To start off my blog, I have good news. I AM EXPECTING AGAIN! Hip, hip, HOOORAY! yada-yada..That is that- Bad news, i'm gonna be pregnant all summer! After being pregnant with my first all summer, I told myself never to do that again, but YA KNOW...Things happen, a full moon occurs, and there you have it- BOOM, another branch growing on the Peni family tree. I can't complain though, I've always wanted a big family...although going through the 9 months process once again is making me rethink my thinking! LOL! But my husband is more excited than me. He wants a big family, and I would be all for it if they were coming out of him!!!!! Lol, okay there's my venting for the day! Anyway, come what may, and love it!

My little Fa'amoana boy is the big EIGHT....months! In a mothers eyes, that's like he's already eight years old! Time has definitely flew, and he's a crawler. He loves getting into things, eating everything off the floor, and especially getting on my last nerve. He is already a pro at fake crying, and knows how to get EXACTLY what he wants from everyone. They don't cal him a spoiled brat for nothing! He loves being around my husband. I get jealous....All the time, but I figured as soon as he hits his toddler stage he'll come running to me more than his fathaaa! Lol. He literally is the one who keeps me on my toes. Thankful that he's able to keep me busy instead of focusing on my morning sickness all day.

My sister is out serving in Paige Arizona right now, and she loves being on the mission field. Reading her letters, I can tell she has totally changed. She sounds mature, and is fulling in love with the work of the lord. Of course I go by days missing her...But I know what she's out doing is where she is suppose to be, and my heart is peacefully knowing that. She is in LOVE with the Native Americans out there, and has seriously convinced herself that she was suppose to be born a Native! Lol. Her letters are what keep me in tuned with the lord, I feel like she's not only strengthening peoples testimonies out there, but also here, right at home.

My older brother is getting married in July, and I am far beyond EXCITED! Not so much about him, but just being able to gain another SISTER!! Myca is truly a blessing to this family, and I am thankful for her decision on her wanting my brother to take her into the house of the lord. I am proud of my brother, and his decision on choosing a virtueous young women to be sealed for all time and eternity! With all that he has been through, he truly deserves this, and every great thing in store for their future! July come fast!!

And the last but not least person I want to bring up, of course, is my very own eternal comapnion. He, like always, is still very quiet, and humble. He's a very hard worker, and has put so much effort into keeping our little family afloat. He's been nothing but a great father to our son, and I am thankful for all he does, and continues to do for us. It's always a kiss, and a "thank you" every time he gets in from work, but thewre is truly nothing in this world that could possibly show how grateful I am to have a firm presithood holder stay true to his covenants, and his word. I am one lucky girl, and I will continue to write that until my dying days!

That's pretty much an update on everyone, and everything that's been happening in my little circle. Have a great day bloggers! Xo.

Inner-peace.

Welp, it didn't take me long to stay away from social networking, but what's new? I took it a little different ways now. Just trying to be nothing but positive on all my social networks. It's been a challenge, so I totally let go of twitter, because twitter has it's way of me letting my feelings out at the moment. I felt I used it more as venting, which was a lose-lose for me, because first of all, no one else cared how I felt, and second- I figured it would come back to haunt me for all the things I didn't mean to say when I was hungry!

So, if you all could ever be so kind and follow me on my new Instagram page at @linepeni and my facebook at Losaline Peni. I love following my bloggers because you guys know much more about me than people who just follow to follow. Anyway, that is that!

This week has been different. I feel sooo.............calm. That is RARE for me, and by rare I mean i'm never calm. I read a quote online and it goes: " There are two things that define you. Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything." I guess I really looked at it as something as a pick me up.

This past week Travis got paid, and I've been somewhat unhappy because it seems like all his money goes straight to all our bills. I'm making it sound like we have piles stacked, but what I really mean by bills is just paying our dues not only to the bank, the house, the utilities, and tithing, but to things we've been procrastinating on. Finally having it all pay off, we were left with only so much. I had so many other things I wanted to get, but giving our last cent away to our tithing pretty much shot me down.

But for some reason, I had never been so happy that our earnings go to tithing. We usually have enough after, but we didn't even have a dime to spare, and yet, I was fine with that. Going to the temple yesterday just like every other time I go, was truly peaceful. I went in admiring everything from the chairs, to the walls, to the great big mirrors! I was happy to know that my money takes part in building beautiful things like this. The only place where you can truly feel at one with yourself, and feel the presence of the lord. I couldn't help but just be thankful for anything and everything! To be truly thankful to know that what I feel in this temple, others are able to feel worldwide, and it is all because of tithing.

My attitude has totally changed, and it is because of tithing. I started to realize how often I take many things in my life for granted, and one was my own skin, my brothers. They have been trememdeous examples of being priesthood holders. They have been great father figures, and the humblest providers. So I sent just litte text message to them telling them how greateful I am for them. Of course they laughed and thought I was smoking something I wasn't suppose to, Lol, but i'm just thankful to be able to tell them. It truly made them feel good inside, and it made me ten times more happy then they were.

I hear stories about people paying their tithing, and then being blessed with great things that the lord gave in return, whether it be money, a person, or himself. But for me, I felt that he blessed me to have a positive attitude this week, and to help me share my word of thanks to those who have been great examples to my little family.

Hope everyones having a great week! xo.

"DOUBT is useful. It keeps 

Faith

a living thing.

You cannot know the strength of faith until it's Tested."

 

-Life Of Pi

 

Just got REAL.

I find myself on Social Networks about 24 hours of the day. Because I'm a stay at home mom, it's easy to get away with being lazy all day. LITERALLY. Some mothers are really good at timing. They know what to put first, and what needs to be done. And then you have those moms (Me) who can't live without updating a status, picture, or tweet about what I'm about to do in that exact moment. Technology is sucking me in, and don't even realize it.

I only accomplish so much when I had social networking. I would do the laundry, then I would camp. I'd do some of the dishes, then take a 4 hour break and, camp. I would start cleaning the room, then stop to camp until Travis gets home. He's always frustrated when he comes only to see that I accomplished one out of the 20 things I was suppose to be doing.

It seemed like the more I put myself out there, the more I had to do to try to please everyone who in all reality, could care less if I was eating sushi with a superstar or what not. It's not that I was trying to please everyone, it was just the fact that I wanted everyone to see what I do daily. I do see myself as a open journal. I don't mind people knowing all about my life. I really have nothing to hide. Guess what I was getting too carried away with was the fact that I felt like a REAL-LIFE SOCIAL NETWORK superstar, when in all seriousness, I am far from that.

I tend to do this a lot. delete or deactivate all my social networks, and then a couple days later thinking I could handle myself get back on, and be totally sucked in all over again. This time is hopefully different. I do want to go back on, but this time try to lessen my addiction. Being such a people person has it's pro's and con's. But it's just one of those things that I know I will have to keep working on.

Anyway, today was my first day without it, and although it feels like it's been 80 years since I've been connected to IG, Twitter, or Facebook, I've managed to finish everything I needed to do today. Please keep me in your prayers! LOL! xo.

guaranteed happiness.

A couple years ago my parents would go to the temple every Saturday morning. Before I was married and all, I was truly a.....Damsel in distress is what I like to think. My mom says I was more of a headache! But every Saturday morning my mom would come annoyingly knock on my door, KNOWING that I was still trying to recover from the night before and yell these exact words in the most highest, sweetly annoying voice, "LINE, I WROTE YOUR NAME ON THE PRAYER ROLL TODAY," and she would keep saying that until I grunted or did a fart sound to know that I heard her. At the time, I didn't care. Even if I had known what a "prayer roll" was at that time, it wouldn't mean much.

But after going through everything up to this point, I am thankful she did write my name, more so knock at my door every Saturday to tell me she did. Because I lacked faith, and motivation to come back to church, someone didn't lack their faith in me, or motivation to get up daily to pray for me. At that time in my life where I was about to drown myself in the world for good, a simple prayer saved me, and brought me back to where I needed to be. It may have taken me to get married early and bare a child while being so young and naïve, but it also has brought me back to a better state in my life, and has kept me from ever falling into the world again.

I know this story was not something that could win the Nobel prize, or be another twilight saga, but it means so much to me. Just a simple thing that was done every Saturday, turned out to be one of the many greatest blessing that I have received. The power of prayer is truly something we all need. Whether you're simply praying for comfort for yourself, or for others. Silently in your heart, or fully on your knees. IT WORKS. Although it may seem like they may not be answered as quickly as you want them to, they will be.

I am a miracle from prayer, so is my son, and so is this marriage. Without the power of prayer, we would've had no guidance, and probably not even stand as strong as we are today. Conversing with the lord daily has been the best guidance in my life. Being a mother and a wife is often hard to try to keep cool, calm, and collective, and at most times, stressful. But it keeps me sane through the hectic days, and the dramatic nights. It gives me comfort knowing that someone does hear and understand me, and I think that for a women, that's what we need and are looking for daily.

That's my blog for today, just thought I'd shed a little light on a weary night. Xo.

Reaching Our Eternal Goal.

March 2nd, 2013 was the beginning of our newest journey. As a family we have finally stepped into eternal bliss. I truly understand the meaning of "families are forever." I truly understand the plan of salvation. We have waited a little over a year to finally reach this part I our life, and the wait was worth it all. My perspective on life, and on the gospel has changed drastically. I thought I had a perfect understanding about the gospel, only realizing that I only know a fraction of it. The temple has brought peace to my heart and soul. It has brought the comfort of knowing that I will see my family in the after life.

Going through the temple process has taught me countless lessons, and letting me know that god is real. Our faith and agency is tested daily. I have learned that no matter what the circumstance may be, to pray for guidance. Prayer has become a tool that I use more often, and has saved our marriage from being taken over by the adversary, which brings me to the next lesson I have learned. THE ADVERSARY IS REAL. He may not have a body, and enjoy human like things, but he is real. We have witnessed it, and it has tried numerous times to stop our sealing from happening. He is stronger than ever, and will do about anything to keep us from being happy.

 The week our sealing was probably the first time I've felt the  adversary try to tempt us. He has plenty of times, but it seem like when we try to make things right in our life, he was putting in over time to keep us in the wrong. Nothing that week seemed like it was going right. It was a busy Saturday for everyone, especially my grandpa who we wanted to seal us together. He had weddings, funerals, and other activities to attend it just didn't seem like he was able to fit us in. We eventually had other people telling us their opinions about just holding it off for another time when it isn't as busy, but for some reason, we didn't want to hold it off. I felt like we were prompted to just do it. It was getting closer to our sealing day, and as we were waiting for the OK from our stake president, I heard my husband kneeling in prayer. I laid still listening to what he had to say, and cried. I knew that although it seemed like everything wasn't going right, we had the same heart to keep pushing for the second of March. He then told me that he was just going to text the stake president to see if we can go ahead and go to the temple. I thank my husband for first praying for guidance, because in a time where life was most chaotic for us, he was still able to turn to god for peace. And second, taking initiative on making moves to get us to where we need to be. I'm more so proud that he had the desire to find a way to take us to the temple, it proved to me of how much he has matured not only as a man, but a priesthood holder. We got the OK from the stake president just 30m minutes before our session started. We got ready, ran out the door and made it!  *WHHHHEEEWWWW*

The blissful moment through it all was when we sat in the temple as a family. Looking at my husband, and my son. The two faces I know I will see forever. Dressed in white from head to toe, humbled by what we see in the mirrors of the temple. An everlasting family picture. I felt at one with everything that surrounded me. My heart, purely beating  in peace. My mind totally not caring about what was outside of the temple walls, my soul fully intertwined with the family members who joined us on our special day. My grandpa a.k.a the sealer who was able to make it all possible. I can't thank him enough for being able to make it for us. He is truly the most humblest man I know. Everything all of a sudden went smoother than what we thought, and that's when we knew God was with us.

I can honestly say that we needed the adversary to be there. He was the reminder of why we didn't want to prolong our sealing date and also why we wanted to make it right. I am truly thankful that we were able to keep our ears open for the still small voice. When your prompted to get something done you would do anything in your power to do it. I am beyond thankful that we were able to be desirous in fulfilling our life long goal, and that was to be sealed together for all time, and all eternity. My eyes have a whole different take on the world. I no longer live to please it. I understand why our parents push us to expand our knowledge in this gospel. Looking at the temple from the outside is one beautiful thing but to be inside, is truly the beyond beautiful. It's astounding.

I stand proudly today as a daughter of God. I am blessed to be born and raised as a latter-day saint. I am grateful for goodly parents who have taught me right from wrong. I am thankful for my handsome husband who holds the priesthood in our family, and has taken me to the lords house to love me not only as his wife, but as his ETERNAL COMPANION. I give my full attention to my son and future children, that they progress in this gospel just as much as I have.

The journey to eternity has finally ended it's chapter, but the journey to living a celestial life on earth has just begun.

Priceless advice..

February 3rd is our one year mark. We have officially been married for a year and some days. Our anniversary was quite simple. Travis took me out to Tuscano, and we enjoyed stuffing our faces with cheese balls, and the endless taste of authentic Brazilian food. Although we were suppose to end the night off with a trip to the good ole' movie theater, we felt it would be more better if we just went back home and watched the baby first channel with our little boy, since he's become addicted to the television set. I swear that's the only thing that puts him to sleep....well, it's either the TV, or carrying him around to fall asleep....But, ain't nobody got time for that! LOL. Looking back through the year, and thinking, "WOOOW, that all just happened?!" I couldn't be any more grateful about what this one year marriage has established for my husband and I. We have learned to love a little more, give a little more, understand a little more, compromise a little more, laugh a WHOLE lot more, but mostly, just to be happy FOREVER MORE. I could've never guessed that I would be married to a Samoan at the age of 19, pregnant with a little boy, and giving birth at the age of 20. Let alone already stepping into the life of motherhood just 2 years after High school.

But, that's what I am known for, being totally random and unexpected. I had imagined and dreamed of what my future might've looked like when I was in high school, but it definitely wasn't anything compared to this amazing life I am currently in right now. And to think that this will soon be eternal? I'm speechless. Of course, who wouldn't want to be with their family forever and ever. But the commitment and the work that you have to do to keep it together, is..well, HARD! Just thinking about the hardship we faced in ONE YEAR!?! and we are just warming up, AHHH!

Well, who better to get advice from then the people who have done marriage for 54 years and still counting. My grandparents. Total opposites on so many levels, yet, still beating to the same heartbeat. My parents, grandparents, married siblings....and the free loader-future-missionary sila, had the opportunity to spend almost $100 per couple to dine at The roof, located on the top floor of the Joseph Smith Building. It wasn't so much the food, or desserts that made the night special, but the breath-taking view of the temple, and the priceless advice from each couple, especially our grandparents. Just to be together as couples, talking and giving advice about how to keep our family and marriage strong through all the worldly trials AND have an eternal perspective right outside the window was what had to be the most memorable night to date! We were especially focused on figuring out how the HECK my grandparents were able to still be truly devoted for this long, annnnnnd our grandpa gave us his secret. He brought up 5 golden rules when it comes to keeping a happy marriage.

1. PAY A FULL TITHING

2. ATTEND THE TEMPLE DAILY

3.MORNING AND NIGHT PERSONAL/FAMILY PRAYERS

4.FAMILY HOME EVENING

5.READ THE BOOK OF MORMON DAILY

I couldn't question it. He is right. I have seen him do each of these 5 things first hand, and seen the blessings that happens when you do put God first. They couldn't be any happier, and I am truly grateful that I can stand as a grand-daughter today, and learn from the two greatest examples of an eternal marriage. They are the people who I desire to become. This Valentines dinner was definitely was a night ill never forget.

 

 

And so here we are today, almost to another chapter in our life. Anxious and ready for our eternal bliss. one year to forever. It's worth giving up all of our worldly procession, to gain something higher, and ever-lasting. But until then...

 

 

Xo. Peni Fam.

 



 

 



Attitude.

I've just knocked down these past two weeks of uprising stress. It has been quite the struggle, but thru it all another blessing. Baby Fa'amoana was  in the hospital this week. He was diagnosed with RSV, and had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He has had a quick recovery, and is back to his old self. For the couple of days that he was sick, it was sad that I wasn't able to wake up to his happy face, but after we were able to leave the hospital and return home, he seemed to recover faster than they thought. I honestly think it was because he saw everyone's faces again. I'm not going to lie, his sickness got so bad I though this was the end for him. But God had other plans for him, and has kept him here. All I know is that I am thankful that I shared a room with a family who was an inspiration to us.

She walked in happy, the tone of her voice- joyful. The rooms are separated by a white curtain, so we could hear everything she was saying, likewise for her to us. She seemed to get along so well with the nurses. They adored her daughter so much. At the time, I thought the nurses just knew the lady and her daughter because they might've come in a time before. The lady's comments were so positive, her daughters laughter, so adorable. We've been in the hospital for two days, and for us it was uncomfortable...depressing. You're in a hospital with sick children, of course it was hard to bare. When all was settled, and she and her daughter got comfortable, she then pushed the curtain back, and had a great big smile. She promptly introduced herself, and walked straight to baby's crib side. I introduced myself, and tried to keep it small talk. I wasn't in the mood for anything at the moment. She offered random things like candy and such. A complete stranger talking to ME?!?! Why was she doing all of this?

After a couple hours she needed to run down to the main lobby to grab a few things, and asked if I can watch her daughter. I said yes, and she left. Since she was gone, I wanted to take a quick look at her daughter. I pulled the curtain back to see this beautiful little baby girl. She also had RSV, and to my surprise was down syndrome. My heart quickly melted. She was the cutest little human being I have ever seen. And to have such an optimistic mother? Truly amazing.

Things weren't going so well with me, so being with this mother and daughter definitely opened my eyes. This lady was super positive, and by positive I mean she was always coming and talking to me, telling me great stories, her attitude was just so bright, and the way she talked about her own children made me want to hurry and have more.

Who could've guessed that an absolute stranger could lighten my load entirely?! A stranger who probably had trials of her own, but yet humbled herself so well, that you couldn't even see a glimpse of it! She taught me a valuable lesson. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. No matter the circumstance, it's all up to you on how you want to go about things. Lord knows I needed to greatly be reminded of the simplest skill that needs to be perfected.

Silent leadership is something I look up to daily. The random people I cross paths with, I always make sure to find the greater good from them, and help inspire me to good unto others also.

Shave me baaaaaald.

I'm a full tongan girl, with all the Tongan genetics. Tall, check! Big calves, check! Great singer, harmonizer, and an extremely loud obnoxious laugh, check! Check! Annnnnd double check! But when it comes to that long, silky, curly dark brown hair- I didn't inherit even a strand of that!! It looks more like my DNA gave me my dads hair and hair line, and gave my moms long hurr to my brothers!

Don't get me wrong though, there was a time in my life when I did have the most amazing hair. That happen to be when I fully developed as a women........7th GRADE!!!! If you're a Polynesian girl, you know most of us be fully grown, probably over grown by the age of 12! Haha, but as I went through high school, I began to cut my hair, shape it, rearrange it because it seem like it just wasn't becoming the fully volumed super curly hair that it once was. I ended up cutting my hair so much that many of my friends thought I was becoming the....well...lesbi-honest! And although it was a joke, it hurt! I'd cry myself to sleep at night! Hahaha, no I'm kidding! But geez, I was sick and tired of everyone asking why I cut my hair. And super tired of my brothers telling me if I got a missionary hair cut!

ANNNND THHHENNN!!!!! It seemed during my pregnancy that my hair was healthy again. My curls were coming back, and it started growing again. I was twirling my big head while the air was infatuating my luscious black curls. I. Was. Sasha fierce! Haha, and then I had baby, and BOOM- back to looking like smigel!

I've tried everything in the book. From pouring beer on my hair, to that stupid horse shampoo! Nothing has worked. I even stopped using the curly iron, straightener, and all that for awhile. But I still look like Beyonces........dad! Haha, I have come to conclusion that I have to be thankful with what I got, I mean not everyone gets to look like beyonce's dad!! Hahaha, but to make do with what I got. I got to pull it off! I may not be the poly girl that has the "long hurr, don't Kurr!" But what I do have is a husband who loves running his hands through my very fihi, short hair! I'm lucky to have a guy who helps me embrace my flaws! He knows how to make me feel like everyone want this! *swirling head around dramatically!* I know it's just another flaw to get over, and I have. It took me a very long while, but I managed to build a long bridge, and get the heeecccckkkk over it.

That's all for today! Xo.

2zer01THR3E

I'm lost for words. There's no better way then starting your year out by sending a missionary on his mission for two years. What a great way to lead by example, more so, a greater way on showing improvement. 2012 has a huge impact on my life. That is the year where I finally decided to make more of myself. To achieve greater. I found love, by finding myself through all the rough patches. I made love by saying I do to my soulmate, and I created love by giving birth to a healthy five pound, forteen ounce baby boy.

What are my goals for this year? Well besides dieting to look like Beyonce again, I have decided to accomplish three things. To become a better wife and mother, to get sealed for all time and eternity, and to live a celestral life here on earth. I have proved to the world and to myself that my soul has purpose, that my heart beats for a reason. If I don't suceed in life educationally, I want to perfect myself spiritaully. I mean, maybe in the future education has it's place, and I absolutely hope for that. But in the mean time, I feel like this year is all about enhancing my faith. I know what it is, and what faith does, but do I use the tools to keep it? No, not always. I want to teach myself to be optimistic, and realistic through it all. I want to pray daily, and be able to humble myself through the worst circumstances.

2013 is another year to make it right. It's another year to be thankful for the simple things, and push yourself to become a greater someone. Let's make this year count! Xo.

The season of bringing good cheer.

This years christmas has been nothing but successful! I had the blessing of being able to experience this holiday with my own little family. It feels so good just being surrounded by the ones you love most. This christmas has also open my eyes, and my heart. Letting go of things that truly don't matter, and opening my eyes to the greatest blessings in life. From family festivities, to simple moments at home with loved ones, whatever it was that I was doing, it brought nothing but joy.

It felt so good to be reunited with childhood friends this past week. I had the opportunity to go on a couples night out with the Atiga's, and also Ricky and mele (who should probably put a ring on it now, Lol...no rush, just hurry up! hahahaha.) and they have no idea how much they have impacted travis and I. It felt so good going out with people who face the same challenges and blessings that you go through as a couple. Just being able to talk about things, and going, "OMG, so are we!" or, "Yeah, that's us too." Being able to connect in some sort of way, and it was good to know that we're not alone. We have friends of our very own who are enjoying the life that we are enjoying also. As crazy as it is to look at how far we have come, and it's even more crazy that we are able to stay connected throughout all the years. I am thankful for great friends, and cannot wait to see how each of us blossom within our own individual lives and families.

Family time will always be the best time, and I am more thankful that my circle of family has grown this year. From church members who have become family like, to my husbands family, who are truly lovable people. Being able to cross paths with many this year has made life become a whole different purpose for me. I have been exposed to various kinds of families, all in which have taught me the simple necessities and teachings in which I should practice with my very own. It's nice being able to go to family gatherings, and seeing how everyone has grown and the improvments all have achieved throught the year. Besides being reminded of the birth of our savoir, this season has also reminded me the puropse of family. No matter what the circumstance may be, thru the thickest, and the thinest- family is there, and will always be there.

I hope that the holidays have brought joy to you just as much as it has for me. Peace and Love!

When it hits close to home.

This past week has been heart wrenching. With Christmas just around the corner, there has been so many tragedies within the nation that Christmas has all of a sudden had a different impact on me. From the shooting in Connecticut, where 26 kids and teachers had lost their life to a man who wasn't in the right state of mind. To right here in our neighborhood where a beautiful, lovable friend of mine is finally resting in peace. Death has never been the easiest thing to get over, and always the last thing I want to think about. But from hearing the losses of young beautiful children and people, Christmas has meant more than what it has in the past years, and that is to be thankful for the family members and friends who continue to make my day brighter, and my life just a bit sweeter. God continues to work in mysterious ways, and as much as we cannot bare the pain of the tragedies that have happen, it teaches us to be grateful to those around us who are still in good health.

After hearing the death of a good neighbor so dear to my sister and I,I thought about my own friends, and how my reaction would be if I were to ever lose them, and I seriously couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose such amazing people. Then I thought about the feeling of losing my own son. Being a mother first hand, it would hurt so much to know that the place where they were to be safest at, they were the most vulnerable. The teachers who put their life on the line for these innocent children will never be forgotten. The blessing of our dear friend Taina who left us too soon, will forever be remembered.

The time will come where death will play a big part in my own home, and I know because of the teachings of the gospel that I have been taught, I will be able to get thru whatever it may be. Although I may not say it often to those I love and cherish most, I do love you with all I have. Take the time to just be thankful for those who are still the biggest blessing in your life, you never know what could happen.

Happy holidays everyone.

Whaa?! Mommys don't get any sick days off?!?!?!?

I have come down with the fever thanks (but not really) to my sister, who likes to drink half bottles of water, and leave it around for us to finish it. I haaaaaaaaaaate being sick, and because my son is always crying to be carried, I'm hopelessly walking around the house with my stuffy nose, and coughs. Sometimes I think to myself that my son likes to give me the hardest time when I am at my weakest. He is going to be one sneaky-tricky-kid! Haha. Anyway, I tried to make my husband call in to work, but I have cried wolf too many times, that at the time I need him most, he's not believing it. I don't blame him at all (but he will have a pillow and blanket waiting for him in the living room! LOL, I'm kidding.) going to find the inner mommy in me and continue to nurture, love, and care for my Fa'amoana boy. Happy John Stockton day! Lol.


P.s.-the Peni family is definitely the biggest Utah jazz fans!

Money and Marriage.

"What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine, too!" 

Seriously LOLing at this picture because there are seriously so many truths behind it. I can honestly say that I am purely guilty of this, and I never hear the end of it from my husband. Hey, I'm just a stay at home momma. OF COURSE I'm going to ask for millions of things! All I do is watch info-mercials  half the time. Lol.

Unfortunately, since the birth of our precious little son, my husband has been smarter with his paychecks, and has become Pro at taking me on guilt trips. Everything we buy, all the money we use, strictly goes to our son and all MY bills. (Yes, I started having bills right out of high school.) The only time I've ever seen any of that, is when my husband wants to go eat. OTHER THAN THAT, I sit hopelessly in my little corner crying over the fact that I couldn't get an ipod.

BUT, although I make it seem like my life has totally ended, which for the most part, it has! lol, I couldn't be more grateful at the fact of the matter that my husband has shown me how much I contribute to greed. I guess all women have that weakness. I mean, my mom's advice to my sisters and I when we were little was, "If you're unsure, just get it, before you walk out of the store and regret it." Sounded fair, until my dad's advice about money was, "Don't listen to any of your mom's advice."

I guess my dad was right all along. He's right about EVERYTHING! UGHHHHHH! Lol, okay over it. He gave us that advice, and still let my mom loose with the credit card, lol. Anyway, if I needed to be taught something from my husband, this would have to be the biggest learning skill that I needed. He leads by example, and constantly by never letting me hold his wallet. Lol, Makes me realize what I have to do on my part to be able to gain his trust when it comes to money.

So, when thinking of the terms OURS, I have to think as in Travis, Baby Fa'amoana, and me! That will be something I won't ever master! lol.

and that's our keeping up with the Peni's! haha.

Thinking out LOUD...

I'm still on the learning curve. I have a lot to learn, and one of them is how to stop pleasing others. I hated when people didn't like me. Or when they had something to say about me. I don't know why, but It always kept with me throughout my day...and the feeling sucked. I always tried to look at it as a way to motivate, or to improve myself. But by the end of the day, I still felt down and out. No matter if I did change, someone will always have something to say.

I've been married for 10 months now, and I have already learned a lot. Motherly duties, wife expectations, how to raise a family, and although I'm not perfect at it, I am better at managing it, than managing how to take others opinions about me. A lot of times I try to avoid the problem, and keep focus on other things. But no matter how busy I can get, it stays in the back of my mind, and continues to be the reminder that I don't need. When I do confront the problem, a skill that I learned from my dad, which 99% of the time works. It always seems to end up bigger.

I guess the real problem here is I allow it to get to me, and that would have to be a skill I need to practice on. "Choosing my battles." Although we fight battles daily, I guess it's up to me on choosing the battle worth fighting for. I want to be able to please everyone, but in order to, I have to be able to be satisfied with myself. Don't get me wrong, I love myself truly, but just like every human being in this world, I have to be able to love myself so much, that words won't break me no matter how many times it is thrown at me...and I guess to love myself truly, I have to know my purpose here, and constantly remind myself my purpose.

Everything's always easier said, than done. And just like life, I don't expect it to be easy. But because I know how precious life is, I know it's worth it.

Weary not, weary not.

Satan is a sneaky thing. They don't lie when they say he will do everything in his power to keep a family from being a family. This week has had it's ups and downs, happy and frowns. My son managed to knock down being two months old. Being my first born, I had the hardest time watching him getting poked with 5 needles, and to top it off, get his circumcision all in one week. There's something about innocent cries that just make me cry a river! Lol. Travis and I pretty much are the new wrestlers for WWE! We are the masters at bumping heads, and it never fails to be about the smallest things. Who baby gets his looks from, who's the cool parent, who's gonna cook dinner. God has put two competitive people together, and I'd have to say, Satan has come in at times where we never realized it.

We rushed to do our family pictures yesterday, and after going three rounds of bumping heads, we passed by the temple. It was really funny, because we both got really quiet. Seeing that in my view made me realize how much we were driven away from our focus on getting married in the temple. After the long awkward silence, we decided that we didn't wanna be wrestlers anymore, and wanted to be best friends forever instead! Lol, it made me laugh, but got me thinking how much we felt the same way about something so special.

Sometimes what we don't realize is how Satan is trying to pull us away. He puts doubt, fills our minds with negativity, which makes us become more stubborn in our thinking, and in our hearts. Thankfully, for us, we were quick to be reminded of what our goal is, and were able to quickly forgive our wrongs. God has put the two biggest competitors together, but also managed to put the two greatest forgivers together also.

I am beyond thankful that we are able to be reminded about things. There will be times where at the moment, everything seems like it's not going the way it's suppose to, but only god can see our bigger picture. He knows what's best, and why we go thru what we go thru. When in doubt, he reminds of our purpose, and why it is vital we carry on.

Xoxo, Peni Family.