I am Line, and I have an anger management problem. It's nothing dramatic, to where I really need to seek help for...or so I hope, haha- but i'm such a hot head, it really doesn't take a person a lot to do to un-tame this lion.
BUT, that's not the point of this blog. Today I woke up, well....furious! *insert Australian accent* I was roaring like a lion, fighting like a tiger, stinging like a bee! haha- No. it's nothing new to make everything a big deal when your a wife. I mean if your husband is leaving the toilet seat up, all hell breaks lose. Or if your husband compliments a lady right after you just complimented her, you automatically assume he likes her! or that's probably just me! LOL! I guess, what I'm trying to say is that to be happy in a marriage, you have to be willing to be a great forgiver. You want to know what's even more weird...I learned that from men! Ew! Hahaha!
Anyway- my very sweet husband never fails to make me smile. Awesome guy, and will totally go beyond the limits to make me happy....even if that means not telling me that he spent the money we were suppose to use for our little Moana boy to get circumcised today. He just went on his merry way avoiding the fact that I told him since Friday to put some money aside for it. "Okay, I did! Don't worry about it!" Is what I always got from him. So what did I do? I was worried free! Long story short, he didn't, I got frustrated, wanted to go king-fu panda on him. You know, all those married symptoms you get when you know the situation could've been avoided if he just had TOLD you! Hahaha! I guess I was more angered at the fact that he didn't tell me because he knew I would react the way I am reacting! So he tries to soften my stubborn heart by saying...."you shouldn't be mad I didn't tell you, because I spent it on you!" Hahahahahahahahahahaha! I mean I'm laughing now, but when he said that I was like, this man WOULD try to make it seem like it's because of me that we couldn't do baby's stuff! Oh my that definitely made my whole entire year!
As pissed off as I was at the time, I took a breather and went on to Facebook (the greatest stress reliever, right?) I was going to message my friend about doing our family pictures, but then I came across a message that I got from someone who use to be a big deal to me at one time. It was a message asking for forgiveness. This person, at the time, was the last person I have expected any good from. I actually wanted him to jump off a bridge while I watch! LOL! Okay, never that- but that's how cold hearted i was towards him. Well, reading through the message, I thought about how hard it must have been to apologize, and ask for forgiveness. I mean why would he? After all that was said and done at the time? NOW you want to apologize? Pssshhht........okay, I did! I forgave him through all the PullSpit- and although we don't communicate at all (thank The Lord almighty! Lol) I am thankful I came across the message.
This whole thing with my husband and I could've been avoided. I didn't share this with you to make it seem like we have problems. I mean we do, who doesn't? I took this as a teaching skill. This, first of all, is nothing to be absolutely mad about all day. Money comes and goes. Second, although the situation could've been totally avoided, it wasn't- he knew what he could've done and immediately apologized. Why was I still trying to set fire to something that was already being put out....idk, I guess, because it was my man- I had to make him feel worse than the S word! Victory was finally mine! Hahahahaha! And third, as long as someone is apologizing for their actions, and being sincere about it, why still try to avoid forgiving? I guess it's just my good heart that allows me to forgive because the person who apologize is giving me the option too...Like that person who I thought had no kind of good in him, actually does. Sometimes I feel like people don't deserve my apology or forgiveness, but that to me shows how selfish I can be if I don't apologize, or forgive. I am willing to be the bigger person and look past things that others are also willing to look past.
It's not the easiest thing to say sorry, and to forgive. Mostly because we're scared of how the other person might react, or if they'll even accept it...or even if it's the right thing to do. I guess it's something we have to practice to make permanent. And by that I mean, humbling ourselves to achieve the greater blessing...to look outside of the box. And I'd have to say that being married has taught me the blessings of forgiveness, and how two great people become two great forgivers!
That was my manic Monday morning for y'all! Have a blessed Halloween week!xo!
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