Monday, January 31, 2011

reality.

today was like any other monday.FAIL!woke up to sila bringing her friends over when she knew i was sleeping in the living room!shave me!!!i hate that feeling of people staring at me.creeps me out...wayyyy out!anyway-on top of all of that it seemed like my pops was having a hard morning.he called me to come get him from work and drive him around like the gas was on Full!!that car has never EVER been on FULL!!thats like our family actually being full off dinner.but who has dinner?ahahaha, anyway-i saved all my money, and i spent it all in five minutes on what?????BILLS!!why did i have to grow up soooo fast?!ughhh!

Anyway-

its just one of those days where nothings going right, and even if you try to do something great, its a total mess. Everytime you think of something great, you still have that one negative stuck in the back of your mind!all ive been trying to do is forget it, its not my problem.but on top of that problem grows more, and MORE problems.so much to handle, that even when you try holding your tears back, they over flow out, and everyones staring at you like, the hell??she was just happy, whats wrong?!i cry at the sight of reality!imagination is something i stay more focused on because its something i want!its something that makes that problem not matter.............at the moment.but the more we do away with it, the bigger the problem gets, and reality hits harder, and harder, and sooo HARD you become selfish.you only do whats good for yourself.you only care for yourself, and expect everyone to go your way, or the high way.my familys probably reading this and is like, your explaining yourself!hahaha, i know i am.i can be selfish. Money is my worst enemy.i spend it like it grows on trees!what makes it even more sad is i didnt realize how bad it was until i watched confessions of a shopoholic!i cried!hahahahaha!but the point is. There are times where its okay to think for ourselves, but keeping that as a constant to where your always doing it can damage you. Thats how many people lose trust in others, is because they only think whats best for themselves.i remember when i had a friend.this person would always ask what did i do wrong?when this person knew for sure that what they were doing wrong was totally there fault.and this person kept asking the same question, causing more and more tension between many..and since then, this person is the talk of the town, and has NO one because of the selfish actions this person put on themselves.and we sit and ask whos to blame?YOUR to blame!if you cant take consequences for your own actions, then you cant face reality, and if you cant face reality, then what can you face?what people will trust you?reality is the bigger, harder, more fulfilling picture.although you may have to sacrifice alot, in the long run, you will look back and notice how many lives you saved, how productive you were, and all the lessons that has made you the person you are!never isolate yourself from the world, percive yourself as another helping hand, waiting to be noticed by many. Become your dream, and live reality like service.remeber, there is no I in TEAM.

On a good note.

Me and my baby lamonai have made up our mind.UH-HUH!you know what it is!BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW BLACK AND YELLOW!MY STEELERS ARE GONNA TAKE IT!pakers?whos that?ahahaha!bought bby monai a steeler outfit from fanzz!his pops is the biggest paker fan ever.whoop.dee.do time for a change nonu fam!hahaha love my bby monai :)
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